Tiger. Stripes

If It's Meant To Be It'll Be

Defeated, and slowly coming to terms with myself, I began to realize, I've earned my keep. I worked hard at not trying, and for that, I was rewarded with the ultimate kick to the gut. Perhaps this... is what I need to ignite the fire, the drive within me to be more president. Get the things I want in life. Maybe this loss will make way for a better me. I couldn't blame Leon for what I failed to do, and he seemed genuinely... happy to go out with Aanya. I wouldn't ruin that.

He deserved happiness. And I did too.

I just... have to find happiness within myself first. That has always been a priority. I was aware that I could go up to him at any moment and tell him how I feel, but I still had much to work on. If it was meant to be... we'll find our way to each other. Right? The next few days were brutal, but that was to be expected. I was a new woman in the making, getting over things would take time, but what I least anticipated, was the weeks after to be very uplifting. I had stumbled upon an outlet, someone to help avert my attention from the nagging guilt I felt. A person to help me with my character development.

"Hey!"

I heading home when I heard an assertive call out behind me. I turned to see a guy jogging in my direction. Thinking he meant to call someone else, I look to see who he was yelling at. No one seemed to notice.

"Hey.." He said, slightly out of breath as he paused by my side, a big smile on his face. "I saw you walk by and I just wanted to say you're bad..."

His eyes trailed down my outfit.

"I..."

I was shocked. He spotted me from within the crowd. This guy had waves... a trimmed goatee. He wore a khaki sweatshirt, brown sweats with white socks, and Crocs. His very pretty brown skin and his perfectly straight white teeth added to his charm. "Do you mind if I asked for your number? I'd like to get to know you more." A guy like him is interested in a girl like me? I thought back to Leon and how I missed my chance with him, then looked back at the guy. I should give him a chance.

I rarely ever took chances. The commitment was a fear of mines when it came to the idea of talking to guys... but I didn't have to commit to anything if I wasn't comfortable.

So... I let my guard down.

I was going to open up and explore whatever opportunities I can salvage. I was young and needed to experience the joys and sorrows of life! This was a big step for me, I missed my chance with Leon, and I won't let go a chance like this again.

♡♡♡

The guy I spoke to was.... really nice, and he was easy to talk to. His name is Anthony. We had been texting for a few weeks getting to know each other and meeting up for lunch and breakfast. He was very adamant about being face-to-face and talking, it took some getting used to. I also loved the fact he respected that I was taking things slow and wasn't really looking for anything just yet. He was looking for someone to exclusively be together and not have a relationship with and was surprised when I told him that I'd possibly be interested in that as well when I was comfortable. I wasn't sure what I wanted just yet if I wanted to test the waters without full-on commitment or to be in a relationship.

He respected that and never said anything out of place and we were just in the talking stage. Friends that flirt and enjoy the company of one another. I felt nice about myself. Having such positive energy made me motivated. I felt pretty and started to put more effort into how I looked. I smiled more, cooked more, cleaned more, and I could see that I was becoming a better me. I was getting more compliments on how I looked... the days were shorter... my work was getting done and I was making good grades... my life had a system once again... Sometimes... I wish I had gotten this done earlier so that Leon and I... could have had a chance...