Assumption's and Falsehoods

Chapter 3: I Don't Even Get Paid That Much

Techno did not spend all night the night before patrolling for Phil to let the snotty vigilante kid into his penthouse.

He woke up to a clean room, which was bad enough because now he didn't know where anything was, he kept his glasses on his nightstand but now they were gone so he had to stumble through his room fucking blind. Once he finally found his glasses, he made his way to the living area, now thoroughly pissed off. He was going to beat Wilbur to death. This had his name written all over it, what with hiding his glasses in the nightstand drawer instead of leaving them where they belong.

Instead of Wilbur though, he entered the living space to find Phil talking to that child.

He looked the same as he did before, he wore the same white button-up shirt and pants. The formal look was of course ruined by the fact that he was wearing torn-up velcro sneakers.

The living room, however, was not so familiar. The entire place was picked up, not quite clean (the mystery stain on the couch was still there, as well as the blood on the carpet) but all of the cups had been picked up and put away and there was a blanket crudely folded and rested over the top of the couch. All things considered, the living room looked nicer than it had in months.

"I thought he wasn't supposed to show up until Tuesday." Techno may have liked the clean room, but he didn't like the intern. That kid was most definitely Boo and was going to help villains break into their house or something. Techno was sure of it.

"You're right, but Wil ran into Tommy on his way to the coffee shop and Tommy offered to start early."

"Tommy? Wait..." Techno turned his attention to the kid. "You have a kickass name like Theseus and you go by Tommy ?"

Tommy scoffed. "Yes, Tommy is a cooler name than Techno and Theseus combined. Why's your name so weird anyway? What are you a genre of music" Tommy's ear-grating laugh wrung through the room.

Techno couldn't wait to bust this kid, he was irritating.

"How old are you anyway? You look like a child."

Tommy made an offended face, "I'll have you know I have been alive for twenty-one incredible years and I have slept with more women and done more drugs than you ever will."

This guy was definitely no older than eighteen, but before he could say anything Phil cut him off.

"You've been doing drugs?? What????"

"No Philza Minecraft, Creator of Minecraft," What the fuck was a Minecraft??? "I just wanted this fella to feel bad."

Child murder couldn't be that bad of a crime. Techno would have to look up the sentence later to see if it was worth it.

"Well I have work to do so keep the child away from me, I want nothing to do with him."

As Techno walked away, Tommy went back to his childish squawking. He truly was the world's most effective birth control, what with his loud yelling and his nails on chalkboard laugh. He would have to collect more evidence quickly so he could get the young vigilante thrown in jail faster.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Wilbur, Technoblade's second most hated person alive.

"Have you seen the new intern?" Jesus Christ. "He's a good kid, I like him."

"He's the vigilante, I'm not goin' to get attached to a ratty vigilante kid."

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "You're just paranoid."

"You won't be saying that when he orders the other ratty vigilante kids to kill you and Phil."

"Awww you love me and Phil enough to care for our safety?" Wilbur cooed.

"No, that's not what I said."

"Love you too." Wilbur walked off to do whatever he did that day, and Techno sighed. He had patrolling to do.

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Tommy walked into the dining room for his break, pulling out a granola bar that Tubbo handed him before he left for work. He was a bit shocked, he didn't expect The Blade to just be some guy who wakes up at 12:30 pm, he expected something cooler. But no, the pink-haired man was quite literally just A Guy.

Part of Tommy thought that made him cooler. Not only could he kick ass, but he also got to sleep in and be unbothered.

The other part of Tommy thought that made The Blade a pussy.

Technoblade (Tommy had learned from Phil that was Technos real name) wasn't nearly as bad as the other guy. Techno might've been a nerd and an asshole but at least he wasn't nosy like Wilbur. Wilbur seemed keen on finding out everything about Tommy, always asking stupid questions like "why do your papers say your middle name is Wife Haver, Tommy??" and "Are these papers forged??? ". Tommy thought he was strange. He'd expected better of the Ghost but he guessed that's why they said to never meet his heroes.

What he also didn't expect was how lenient Phil was, Tommy barely even picked up and Phil didn't seem to mind him taking a break to get a glass of water. He even laughed when Tommy asked for permission to grab said glass.

Tommy didn't know these guys all that well but he liked it here. Even as he complained, he enjoyed talking to the heroes.

Tommy finished the granola bar and set off to continue cleaning. Once he was done with this he could go home to Dream and apologize for their little spat earlier that week. He just had to pray Dream would accept that apology.