Breathless // lp

Chapter 13.

"I don't want to go home." 

Ash almost immediately mentally scolds herself, because why did she just do that. She want's to go home! She wants to be there with Liam again, maybe this time things would be better. But the more Ash thinks, the more she starts to realize the faults of going back.

 Squeezing her eyes shut, she winces and prepares for the yells to be directed towards her, but nothing happens. It gives her a moment to think.  

This is all her fault. All of it, the fights, everything. Ash can't help but let these thoughts sink in. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Ash wishes that she'd just stayed clear of the street corner that night when Liam took her. Maybe she wouldn't be in this situation. It was her fault anyway.

But Liam. He was the best thing that had happened to her, and  Ash didn't know if she wanted to lose that. There's something between them, and she knows it, something warm and happy. Whether Ash is capable of loving him, she doesn't know. 

All she does know is that she's the cause of all this. She's the one that's tearing them apart, it's her. The thought makes Ash question what she is still doing here. At that moment Ash just wants to leap up and run from the room, because the thought of being there another second scares her. 

She's almost ready to run from the room never to be seen again, but as she opens her eyes, her breath catches. 

All five eyes were fixed on her, wide and questioning. Ash avoided Harry's gaze, his touch still lingering in the back of her mind. She wasn't sure she'd be able to forgive that touch. Instead she looked towards Liam for direction. Everything was silent, so deathly quiet that Ash wanted to scream just to break the silence.

As for Liam, he stared at Ash in horror. His palms almost immediately grew sweaty, and he began to shift from one foot to the other nervously. No, no, this wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to go home, fall in love, and everything would just be okay again. 

After a long moment of silence that seemed to drone on forever, Liam quietly gestured that he was going to talk to Ash alone before shuffling into the room and gently shutting the door behind him.  

"Ash? What do y-you mean you don't want to go home?" Liam asked rather shakily, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ash didn't answer, instead she hid her face further under the sheets until just her glassy green eyes peeked over the top. The sunlight that sliced through the curtains cast shadows across Ash's face as she squirmed. 

"I don't wanna g-go back there, I can't. I'm already causing too much problems Liam, you ran away b-because of me," Ash hiccuped, trying to hold back the tears she already felt prickling her eyes.

"And think of my father! He'll come back and take me r-right back there, oh god," Ash whimpered and   covered her eyes with her arm to hide her tears. 

"No, babe listen. I won't let anything happen to you, you have to trust me. Nothing is your faul-" 

"YES IT IS! Don't you get it Liam? I'm the one you're fighting about! I'm the one your chasing, you need to be with your band, keep up with your career, Liam!" Ash shouted.  "I should be gone." 

"No, babe don't say that-" 

"BUT IT'S TRUE! Isn't it?" Ash grunted as she lifted herself from the bed, angrily stomping towards the door until Liam slid in front of her.

"Woah, woah, Ash sit down for a minute," Liam begged. "Shh, sit down please!' He said lightly pushing Ash to the edge of the bed and plopping her down onto it. He knelt before her and held both her hands in his.