Dazatsu one shots~

I'm sorry

It was a peaceful day, the sun was high in the sky, clouds no where in sight. Full blooms of flowers were on the surface level, the color of the grass was such a vibrant green. Many insects littered the place, butterflies and bees. Atsushi had a front row seat.

The window was big enough for Atsushi to get a full view of Spring rolling in. The flowers were really pretty. Ironic isn't it? Something so beautiful would be enough to kill Atsushi.

There was a book, it was about flowers and their meanings. Atsushi's memorized all of them, all 640 that were described in the book. He's been stuck in this dreary place for so long, his boredom had gotten the best of him.

Hearing the door open, Atsushi turned to face his new visitor.

"How are you?" Dazai softly smiled, coming over to a chair next to Atsushi's hospital bed. The hint of sorrow and guilt was hidden well, but Atsushi could sense it from a mile away.

"I'm good, how about you?" Atsushi asked with a big smile on his face. The corners of Dazai's mouth twitched, almost as if the smile he had on was forced.

"Doing...I don't even know. I'm sorry.." Dazai looked down at the ground.

"It's ok, not everyone knows what name to put on what they're feeling." Atsushi shrugged, or at least tried to, it hurt to move, no matter how small of an action. He turned toward the window once more, looking out at the glowing field. There was silence in the room, Dazai had his hands twiddling on his lap, head still staring down. He's worried, Atsushi thought.

He felt a tingle at the back of his throat, trying to conceal the violent coughing that would soon follow if he opened his mouth. Atsushi took a deep breath and reached out towards the water bottle on his night stand, whimpering when the sting of pain made itself known.

Dazai had looked up at Atsushi's noise, his eyes widened and he reached for the water. Opening the cap, he handed it back to his subordinate. Atsushi blinked, showing his appreciation, before taking a huge gulp. His eyes were closed shut with immense concentration, Dazai knew all about that pain.

The pain of having spring blossoming inside your throat.

"This is all my fault, if I hadn't gotten the surgery-" Dazai started but was interrupted when Atsushi's hand shot out.

"I-it's not your fault! Y-you made a choice that w-was for your own good, now I m-made mine." Atsushi struggled with his words, the hand clenched around Dazai's bandaged wrist, trembled.

"But there might've been a chance to save you if I hadn't..." Dazai drifted off, he knew saying the next words would break Atsushi's heart even more, they did, once. Never again, Dazai promised.

"Never what..? Met me? Y-you do regret meeting me then..?" Atsushi's hand trembled even more, his whole body was subtly shaking.

"No! Never! I just meant that if I hadn't gotten so close to you, you wouldn't have gotten this disease!" Dazai slapped his hands on his face, the rage he felt for himself was starting to seep out.

"I don't care...I don't ever regret getting close to you. Because now I know what it's like to love you, and it's the best feeling in the world." Atsushi said with a weak smile. The smile was so pathetically weak, Dazai grimaced, he caused this, it's all his fault.

"B-but it's my fault...I can't share the same feelings and you'll die for that! Because of my negligence!" Dazai had tears in his eyes, his body shaking.

"No! It's not your fau-" Atsushi couldn't finish his sentence before violent gagging erupted from his throat. Dazai startled, he quickly got the bucket from beside him and held it under Atsushi's mouth. The teen vomited out tons and tons of Chrysanthemums petals. They were all soaked in his blood, Atsushi retched, his whole body trembled.