𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 - A Norman x Ray Story

The Clock Is Ticking, Norman

It's been a year. I mean since anyone has heard from Ray. Or seen him. I've never been more afraid in my life. The thoughts are bunching up in my head. He's all I can think about. I can't focus at all. Where is he? I need him here with me. What am I supposed to do without him?

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice calls out, snapping me out of my poisonous thoughts. I look over my shoulder to see a worried expression on my classmate's face.

"I'm fine, Emma, thanks for asking."

"Are you sure? You haven't wrote a single thing on your paper. You're usually able to focus really well. Are you still thinking about Ray?"

"I don't need Ray to focus, I'm fine."

"Okay- but if you ever-"

"I'm fine, Emma."

"Alright, I'm sorry."

"Wait, don't be sorry, I'm sorry. You're just trying to be nice."

"Yeah, but I was going a bit overboard!"

"It's fine, Emma, I promise."

"Wanna hang out with me and my friends later? Ya know- to get your mind off of things!"

"I don't kn-" You can't dwell on Ray being gone forever. Ray's been gone for a year and you haven't spent time with anyone since him. Loosen up, say yes. "Sure, Emma. Thank you."

"Alrighty! When do you wanna hang out?!"

"That's up to you, Emma. I'm free anytime."

"Would you mind hanging out today after school?"

"Not at all."

"Alright!" She viciously rips a page out of her notebook and writes her number on it. She then hands it to me. "That's my number! I don't know where we'll go yet, but I'll text you when I figure it out!"

"Okay," The overbearing sound of the bell rung in my ears. It was difficult to take in anything at this point. Everything felt like too much, but I couldn't show that. I didn't want to worry anyone.

I let him go. I let him leave. And now I don't even know where he is. I don't know if he's safe. Or if he's still alive. And I'm not even trying to do anything about it. I've been acting fine when I'm not. When I'm melting on the inside. When I'm trying, daily, not to crack at every moment. Not to let the real feelings out of their protective shell because I'll go batshit if I do. I don't know if I'll live past it. I don't know if I'd want to live past it. Harder and harder, it's been. I want to go out and I want to look for him and I want to find him and I want to love him and I want him to love me. I can't take it anymore. What can my weak ass mind and body possibly do to help or find the love of my life. I want to help. I really do. But I don't think I can. Since when have I been so useless? I can't and won't try to find him although of my true love for him. I'm so weak. I'm so weak. I'm so weak. IM. SO. WEAK.

Tears. Down my cheeks. I asked to be excused to the bathroom and rushed off before I was able to get an answer. I didn't have a pass, nor did I care or think about one at the moment. All I was thinking about was the nerves pushing up passed my throat. I ran into the bathroom and ran to the sink because I wouldn't have made it to one of the stalls. And all of my nerves spilled out of my mouth uncontrollably. All of them. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't breathe. My nose and my throat stung.

Finally, as I finished, my knees buckled. I held myself up with the rim of the running sink. But my elbows felt weak too. As my elbows snapped, my weight made a thud when it hit the ground.

____

"Norman!"

"Son, please wake up."