existential crisis: wellness and health

what happened?

don't obsess over people who toss you aside. they don't deserve your companionship. it hurts like hell but it'll be okay.

I wish I wasn't so dependent, so attached,
so in love with you that even when you leave, even when feel like I've been filled up with an unexplainable emptiness, I find myself being able to forgive you.

my unwillingness to accept that we friends, that all friends, eventually depart, stuck it's roots into the ground and made me believe in a false reality that we could escape the falling out.

i didn't want to believe in a outcome in which I would lose everything that made my being. I couldn't believe in such a concept. So when I gradually felt you withdrawing, it was just me being clingy.

Maybe I was suffocating you. Maybe it was due to the fact that I was a face so often seen you needed change. It was taken to no offence so I gave you space, though I didn't expect to feel so far away from you. Like we were separated in 2 corners in the earth.

What happened?

Days. Weeks. Now months. What used to be frequent is nonexistent. As the time passes by, I wonder if this will last forever or if this is just a law of misfortune I must endure in order to achieve my happiness; which is with you.

I should be with you. I want to be with you. It cannot be helped. Like a force of attraction that constantly pulls me to your charm, to your warm being. However, being apart from you feels like the strands of my body are being stretched to far corners.

What happened to us?