Yes Professor Johansson

Chapter 14:

{Unedited}

I sit down next to her, my eyes now leaking with pain. I can't calm myself down enough to start talking.

'Hey, hey it's okay' Scarlett pulls me close to her, her hand running through my hair. I breath deeply and the tears keep running. She holds me close until I calm myself down enough that I can talk. Her comfort is probably the only thing that can keep me sane at the moment. Almost instantly I felt alleviated.

I sit up and stare at the TV, trying to find the words. 'My dad...he uhm' tears start running down my face again and I close my eyes holding my breath.

Scarlett rubs my back 'It's okay, you don't have to tell me' she says softly.

'He told me it was my fault my mother left, that I'm the problem' I wipe my tears and my breathing starts to become erratic 'We got into an argument, I said my peace and he said his, and now he's been messaging and calling saying that he's sorry for what he said but he never once said that what he said wasn't true' I just about manage to let out. Scarlett doesn't say anything, she only continues to rub my back and listen 'and I've spent so long trying to convince myself that it wasn't me who split my parents apart, that it just wasn't meant to be and to hear from him, the man who raised me, I just...I'm so angry at him...at myself...for even trying to win his approval' The tears become sobs as I realise more and more 'I have no one now, only Alex and I can't see that ending well...I'm alone' I just stare as the realisation washes over me, and shake my head slightly whilst shrugging. 'And believe me I've felt alone before, many times but now I really am.'

There's a silence. All that can be heard are my quiet sobs muffled by my head in my hands.

'...I've experienced something like what you're feeling....For similar reasons' Scarlett says 'I know that right now you don't want somebody to tell you that it's all going to be okay when they couldn't possibly understand what you are feeling right now. You'd rather curl up into a ball and let the world swallow you whole. Feeling like you've been abandoned, especially by your family is excruciating, you shut people out and force yourself to adapt to being alone, because that's what feeling abandoned makes you feel....at least that's what I did' I turn my head to her and see tears forming in her eyes 'but I promise you, I won't leave you alone. I won't abandon you. You are now part of my family, and if you want to leave at any point I won't force you to stay, but you will always have a place here, with me' She wipes a few tears from my face as a few tears falls down hers, she smiles and cups my cheek. Even though it's barely been four days since me and her took whatever this relationship is to another level, she means more to me than she could possibly know.

A warmth surrounds me and I wrap my arms around her so she can share it. I bury my head into her shoulder 'thank you' I whisper as my tears stop flooding down my face. We sit in embrace for a while but I really did need it.

'I'll keep you safe sweetheart' She whispers back to me and everything I felt for her grows. I can't explain what I feel for her, I can't fathom the words to explain.

I eventually break the hug. We sit close to each other and I lean my head against her shoulder. We don't speak on the subject after, it would ruin the evening, but I'm glad we did. 

'I've ordered us Chinese food if that's okay?' She asks me. It's like I moulded her out of clay and baked her with cinnamon. She's absolutely perfect. Too perfect. I'm probably repeating myself.

'Perfect' I smile. I then take my bottle and drink some water, the coldness down my throat was phenomenal, absolutely incredible.

'Now, you should take a nice warm shower and by the time you come back down, food will be here and we can do whatever you want' I appreciate how she's moving the conversation along. I nod and stand.