Behind Blue Eyes

Prologue: Chapter 1 Amina

5 years earlier

"For fucks sake Amina, what did you expect me to do?"

Do I really need to write this out for him? I stare at the face before me. The same face I have seen almost every day, yet it looks unfamiliar. I can feel the heat of his anger boiling from his body even though I am many feet away from him.

He isn't the one who has a right to be upset, I take that title. I asked him to give me a week, a fucking week to decide. I mean, it's not every day when you're at a fast-food restaurant when the boyfriend you've had for less than a year asks you to marry you while you're ordering chicken nuggets.

He steps towards me with a stride that makes me want to run. I should have, I really should have.

"I'm sorry." I'm not. I don't even know why I said that out loud. It could be one of two options. One, he is scaring me right now. I have never seen him act like this, maybe he's humiliated at the fact that I just caught him sleeping in mybed with my best friend. Then there is option two, I want to skip past this bull shit and tell him everything is fine, so he leaves.

As his face is close to mine, nearly touching my nose as he is screaming at me, I feel oddly calm. I have seen the red flags, I just decided to ignore them. This red flag isn't even red, it's the darkest maroon, the darkest that maroon can even get.

"Actually, I'm not." Yeah, I choose option three. "I should have expected this of you." I say as I stare at him.

His eyes twitch as he scrunches his nose in frustration. "What did you just say?" My skin feels like it is being crushed under a pile of stones as he grabs the sides of my arms.

I can feel an ocean flooding my eyes, so I close them. I'm not hurt that he slept with my best friend, I almost feel numb to that. But what hurts me is his grip. And the shove onto the wall.

Glass shattered behind me leaving shards in my hair and cuts on my back.

"You're seriously crying right now, Amina? I hardly even touched you."

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Your dad would be disappointed in you. God knows I am."

That one word made my vision turn black. My dad. Okay... first off, he has nothing to do with his. Second off... actually, there is no second off.

I nod as I let out a sarcastic laugh. "He would have expected more of me," I say through my teeth. "He never would have expected me to stay with a fucking tragedy of a human being."

I stand up off the floor and reach for the door handle. I pause for less than a second while I process everything I am leaving behind.

All of my belongings, a life's worth of pictures, everything.

"Amina!" Andrew shouts as I slam the door behind me.

My heart is beating so fast I feel like I am about to fall to the ground, but I can't. I don't have time for that. The elevator in the hallway is too slow so I rush down the stairs. I have nowhere else to go, but it needs to be miles away from him.

After fifteen minutes worth of fast-paced walking, I find a motel. It's the kind of motel that I know has bed bugs. The lights even flicker, Jesus, light bulbs aren't even that expensive.

"I'd like a room." I tell the lady at the front desk. She stares at me with wide eyes. Is she mute? "I'd like a room." I repeat getting anxious.

"Honey, what happened?" She asks.

I am not about to open up about my life when it's ten p.m. to a stranger, or anyone for that matter.

But I do. I tell her everything that happened in the last half hour. Her face says it all. I don't normally talk to anyone about my life, but it's something about her cherry red hair and big brown eyes that make me putty.

"No one deserves that," she says. "Stay as long as you'd like, don't worry about paying sweetheart." She slides a key on the desk.

I shift the bag that has been on my shoulder all day. I lean forward to read the tag on her right shoulder, but her hair is covering most of it.

"Rosie." She says with a smile.

"Mia," I reply. The irony of her name makes a soft giggle escape my lungs. "I cannot thank you enough for this." I wave the key up.

I turn away from her and begin walking down the long narrow hallway.

"Scheisse." I mumble as I try to open the door. The nob finally gives and the door swings open.

I throw my bag onto the bed, myself with it.

Moments pass by as I stare at the ceiling trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do.

Grabbing my laptop out, I search flights. I'd go anywhere at this point. I'll have to deal with everything else some other time.