To: Her

Moon

As the birds sing the blues, I closed my book quietly and creep to the top of my bed in fatigue.

The door of every room was shut tight, leaving me at peace for once.

No storybook
No goodnight kiss
None of that existed as I thought
Or as heard and seen from the movies and those at my school

As a child, I always gotten used to being the one who felt like a stepping stone
Yet I am still here under the moonlight

I was a little star that flew too far
A lonely little star

Sometimes the little star wishes upon the sky
However it never came true anyways

across from me, the moonlight shone from the locked window

My only friend who have comforted me

The one who sang the lullaby' of serene

One who knew what happened.

It have been awhile since I've heard the nostalgic melody

Around me

The sound was silent yet kind

But

I couldn't sleep under it's beautiful embrace

Many nights, I remember the feeling of being watched
Being threatened

However

Shadows were gone for now
But I knew they were never dead

Waiting impatiently

I thought of those days where I felt my heart stop

recalling the days I have physically grown out of

Wondering If I ever healed

Wondering if those feelings of memories would settle down

Wondering why the continuous clouds of thunder strike me

everywhere I go

everywhere I will be

everywhere.

defenseless

small

afraid

I wish it all to go away

.

.

.

As the clock struck midnight

every tick were a heartbeat

slow

soft

Thump thump

Eyes grew heavy and closed

but never had the chance to be asleep

was I anxious?

was I scared?

what was there?

There was nothing

what was there to face?

nothing

That's what I thought

A nerve struck a core inside me

What was keeping me up?

Slithering through me, was a glimpse of her

My eyes opened wide as I held my head in pain

Suddenly

whispers came in all direction

too much

to where it overwhelmed me to death

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

It was 12:12

I snuggled and kept my knees close to myself

waiting for my mind to calm itself

I began to recall the days I felt happy

Those were the days I took for granted

I wonder if I ever did or was it just bad luck

Bad luck that I had to have everything taken away from me

No sense of power nor stability

If only I could have

maybe the urks of worms all over me would stop

every time

every time I moved,

every time I rest for a moment

If only,

perhaps those nightmares of the shadows would stop

Every night, I kept waiting patiently

patiently...

"for what?", a hollow yet soft voice whispered

I gasped for a slight moment and lifted my head

Searching for her

No signs

Only emptiness that filled the air

The sky and the stars were all noir

I knew it.

As much as I would want to see her

The stars and moon would never touch

Despite being in the same sky

"You", I said faintly

No signs

How tragic