Taming The Beast

Chapter 18

"Fall deeper and deeper; the sirens are singing your song." -Sleeping With Sirens

*~*~*~*

Sometimes you try so hard to forget something, and when you're finally getting close to the point where that happens, something happens and you are reminded of every little thing that ever happened to you.

*~*~*

I sighed as I made my way upstairs. It was all working out so well.

I knew I would eventually tell him but not now, not so soon! It would probably make him look at me like I'm a freak.

I don't want to put the pack's life in danger! I don't want them sacrificing themselves for me because if a single person gets hurt because of me, I'll never forgive myself.

I went into my room and opened up the bag that I haven't touched yet.

I slid my phone out of the side pocket it's always in but I also found a note with it.

My eyebrows furrowed up in confusion I opened the folded paper.

Dear Jessica,

I'm sorry. I know I'm forcing you to stay here but I lied.

It's not just for your own good. It's not just for your safety.

The truth is I'm selfish.

I'm actually weak but I don't want the world to see me because I don't think that they'll understand.

Jessica, you make me weak. You do this to me and I'm terrified.

If something happens to you I will tear the world apart.

I want to be your forever but I'm too scared to say it.

I hope you get this later because right now it's just too soon.

Yours Truly
Raymond

How long has it been since he wrote this?

Confused, I grabbed my phone and my workout gear and went in search of the soundproof room, I was told existed.

After hours of pointless roaming around I found it.

It was huge. There was a balcony and next to it stairs, that led to a huge open studio with mirrors.

There were speakers attached to the walls on every corner and side. Surround sound. He knows how to do it right.

I found the system on the right side of the room.

I connected my phone and kept the letter under it.

I played the song that reminded me of this situation the most.

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. I think Raymond unintentionally made a reference to the song in the letter.

I moved slowly carefully and cleanly. I felt the familiar burn and stretch of my muscles but I missed one thing.

The feeling of arms around me and being lifted up and spun around during a dance.

I wasn't tired when the song ended.

But then came on a song that haunts me. There's always that one song that fits your life so perfectly you're scared of it. This was that song for me. Don't Fall Asleep Under The Helm by Sleeping with Sirens.

I love it. But it reminds me of dark times.

'I lost my heart my home is the ocean.'

I tried to drown myself.

'The sirens are singing your song'

I tried to end everything because of him.

"You're a dancer and I'm a singer. It's a match made in heaven Jessica." He used say.

I always just smiled and said "It'll last if it's meant to be because darling there is no heaven there's just hell and we're living in it."

I didn't know that I zoned out and was still dancing until I crashed on the ground with my head in my hands.

"Are you okay?" I heard a voice say.

Raymond.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said and stood up.

But the truth is I probably looked like a mess. My face was make up and tear stained as I panted for breath.

"Come here." He whispered as he pulled me in to a hug.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I snuggled my face into his chest.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too." He said as he pecked me on my forehead.

_______

So... They made up? Yeah...

The song Don't fall asleep at the helm, has a really deep meaning behind it.

I just heard it and I'm obsessed.

I'm going to let you guys discuss what it is.

Yes this might be the first ever discussion on this book.

And I have to say, my laptop is messed up so I can't dedicate chapters for some reason on it..

But I'd like to thank every one of you reading this.

It means a lot!

And the more you vote and comment, the faster I update!

I already know of a few regulars and I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Until the next update,

VOTE!

COMMENT!!

FAN!!!

You will see the next update soon.xx