ablaze || dreamwastaken x oc

Chapter 25: merch

5/17
10:22 am

I woke up the next morning around 10:20, earlier than'd I'd expected to considering I'd stayed up doing stuff for most of my night.

I spent a little while just laying in bed trying to find it in me to get up, but it was such a struggle. Today more difficult than most others.

Which could either be because of my lack of sleep from my previous night, or because of my declining mental health.

Yesterday's stream went well while I was live. After I ended before falling asleep I scrolled through my twitter and instagram comments, that was a mistake.

All I saw was the negativity being directed at me.

It'd never been this bad before I don't really know what's going on. I've been trying to avoid it, but everyday it gets harder and harder as more and more comes along.

Today I just had some school work today, and a meeting with someone on my team for my merch design.

~ INSTAGRAM ~

blazingthorns: here's a picture of nyx for you all, haven't shown my beloved in a bit <3

nihaachuu: awww she's so pretty! like you!
>blazingthorns: awww thank you niki! you're very pretty too
>>nihaachuu: you're welcome blaze

sapnap: i want to meet her.
>blazingthorns: maybe someday 🤷

~ irl ~

I took a picture of Nyx and posted it on my instagram to try and bring some more positivity to my page. 

Which worked for the most part.

Of course there were still a few, but it was a lot less compared to my normal posts. 

Maybe my pets would be the better thing to post right now. People seem to hate on them a lot less than they do on me right now, I thought.

After I posted the picture of Nyx I got ready for my call about my merch. 

My merch was something I'd been working on for awhile now. 

Both fire, and my pets were a big part of my brand. 

So far what me and my merch team had thought up design was basic outlines of my pets, but with fire as the lines.

Both Flint and Steel would be placed together on one side of Nyx, who would be the center, and Orion would be to the other side of Nyx.

That design would be on the back, while the front would have a small 'B' in the corner and a rose wrapped around it. 

And the color choices for the hoodie would be black and white. I'd also been trying to find another color, but I wasn't too sure as to what I should do.

I hadn't shown any of my friends the design. Sapnap being the only one to even know I was making it. 

I'd been planning on telling Dream, but it just hadn't come up in conversation.

After a little bit more of preparation and just sitting there, it was time for my meeting to start, 12:15 pm.

~ time skip, 2:45 pm ~

God. I'm exhausted.

Me and one of my team members got into a bit of an argument over placement of some of the designs.

I ended up just leaving the meeting cause I couldn't deal with their shit anymore. The meeting was only supposed to go on about 15 or so more minutes, so I shouldn't miss too much.

I messaged the person apologizing for acting out, and being irrational, which I was being. It was unfair to them.

I've just been really irritable and felt kinda pissed off at most things most of the time recently. I don't know what's going on, and I don't really like it.

I decided it'd be best to just take a break and rest, then start on my school stuff.

~ time skip, 4 pm ~

I woke up to the soft purrs of Nyx laying near my head on my bed. I'd decided to lay down a bit and give my body some rest.

I got up a few minutes later and started working on all my assignments that were set to be due soon.

~ time skip, 7 pm ~

And after I'd done that, I spent the rest of my evening relaxing and just taking a break. 

I ended up going to bed around 8:30, feeling completely empty and exhausted.

///

Word Count: and 711

A/N: short chapter. going on a trip this weekend. no updates for a couple days. sorry for inconsistency, i'm trying, just feelin a bit tired.

n e wayz, make sure to eat something, drink some water, and get some rest. love y'all. -hatter:)<3

Written: 10/22/2021
Published: 10/23/2021