ablaze || dreamwastaken x oc

Chapter 39: finale! woo!

tw: mentions of s3lf-h4rm, ed's, and suî¢!d3

9/27
6:38 pm

"Hey Clay!"

"Yeah?"

I was currently making dinner for Clay and I. I had just finished it up and it needed to cool so I set it out while I went to go find Clay.

"Dinner's ready," I said as I ran into his office.

"Ok, let me just save this real quick and I'll come down," he said, clicking some shit to make sure his codes were being saved.

I went back downstairs to make our two plates. I set them both down on the two placemats I'd set out just as Clay came into the kitchen.

"What do you want to drink, babe?" the name still made my heart flutter, even though he'd been using petnames like that a lot the past couple months.

"What do you have?"

"Uhh... water, lemonade, orange juice, apple juice-"

"Apple juice please."

He came over to the table, where I was already seated, carrying two cups; setting one next to me that had apple juice. And the other next to his place, his cup had lemonade.

The two of us began eating, and talking about how our day has been.

I looked down at my Apple watch to check the time, and I saw today's date.

September 27th.

It's been exactly 3 months that I've been clean from self-harm. I think it's finally time to tell Clay.

After dinner we both started cleaning up our dishes and just the kitchen in general.

Then we went to the living room of his house to sit on the couch and watch a movie.

"Hey, umm, before we start the movie, I have something I want to talk to you about-" he opened his mouth to speak, "And before you even think it, no, I am not breaking up with you."

"Okay, then never mind," he said before he shut it again.

"Okay... I don't really know how to start this.
So, you already know I have trauma from my childhood and teenage years."

"Yeah."

"Well, there's kinda three big things that I haven't told you about it..."

"Okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want. I can tell you're a bit uncomfortable," at his words I tried to make myself less tense.

"No, no, it's okay. I want to tell you. It's a big part of me, and I'm not ashamed to share it with you like I once was.
It's just a scary thing to talk about. Y'know?"

"Yeah, I understand."

"Okay, so I guess I'm just gonna come right out and say it...
When I was a teenager I did self harm and had an eating disorder, and a few months ago I started getting back into those habits for a few months. But now I'm getting better," I spit out extremely quickly.

"I am so sorry- But I only caught a word or two of that-"

"Shit, alright. I'll try and talk slower, I'm just really really scared to talk about it," he took my hands into his and started rubbing small circles on the backs with his thumbs.

"Briar, I love you. No matter what you have to say is not going to change that."

Oh my god- did he just- Did he just say he loves me-

"I- I love you Clay.
And that's exactly why I need to tell you these things. If I could just stop being such a pussy," I chuckled as tears began to well in my eyes.

"Okay, so the thing I've been trying to tell you is," I took a long deep breath.

"When I was a teenager, I struggled with self-harm and an eating disorder. A few months ago, I started self-harming again; but as of today I am 3 months clean. Those months ago I also started falling back into my eating disorder. But luckily I was able to get help for both things before they got to the severity level they were at when I was a teenager."

"Oh Briar- I am so so sorry that you've had to go through al that, my love," he said as je engulfed me in a hug.

"My love. That's a new one," I thought as I began to blush through my tears.

"Um.. I still have a bit more to say."

"Okay, go on," he loosened his grip on me so I could sit back up.

"I'd be surprised if you haven't noticed any of them yet," I rolled up my sweatshirt, well his sweatshirt, sleeves to reveal scars along my wrists and forearms.

"Yeah, I have. But I didn't want to ask because they didn't look 'new', and even though I'm your boyfriend that's still be disrespectful."

"Oh my fucking god- How are you so awesome?"

"I- I don't know- ?" he laughed out.

"And then there's one last thing, it's been about 4 years since I last tried, but when I was a teenager I attempted suicide. I had about 13 attempts, none of which worked. Obviously.
But you have help made me realize how fucking happy I am none of them worked."

Clay enveloped me in the biggest hugs I've ever had in my entire life, and we were both crying.

His head was buried in my neck, and mine in his shoulder.

The two of us were just sat on his couch hugging each other and crying.

"Briar Angelika Fischer. I love you. So fucking much. More than anyone else in this world. We haven't even known each other for a year, but you are still one of the best things to happen to me.
And I am so sorry you ever felt like your life wasn't worth living. I am always here for you my love. No matter what happens to us, I will always be here for you."

"I love you Clay. Thank you."

///
Word Count: 984

A/N:
and that's the end!

i might do some more bonus chapters or something, but i think that's a wrap!

i have a few more books in mind, but i plan on putting more prewriting and preplanning into those lmao

thank you to those of you who habe read my shitty first book

remember to eat some food, drink some water, and get some rest

i love you all so so much<33

-bee:]

Written: 12/28/2021
Published: 12/28/2021