Love You From A Distance [h.s]

Part 50

Harry Styles

My whole body froze and all the oxygen suddenly got robbed from around me when I heard that the only thing I wasn't blaming on my father was ofcourse one of the things he did. All these years of my life I've been crippling with the thought of my mother taking her own life because she couldn't fight anymore. My entire life, I've hated my mother for giving up, leaving her only child and choosing suicide as an option to end her pain and suffering.

But she didn't kill herself.

That bastard killed my mother?

But how is that even possible?

Did he purposefully make it look like it was a suicide?

I was fucking twelve for fucks sake! I can't even think about that event properly without hurting my head.

When I looked at her laying lifeless on the ground, holding a blade in her hand with her eyes shut, it hurt like hell. It fucking destroyed me, it made me realise what pain actually felt like. The physical pain I recieved in my childhood was nothing compared to the emotional pain that hit me that day when I looked at my dead mother.

All my senses somehow stopped working and all I could see, hear, feel, smell, taste was related to her.

I could see all the memories of us flashing in front of my eyes.

I could hear her calling my name.

I could feel her touching me and caressing her hands through my hair.

I could smell the perfume she used to wear every single day.

I could taste my favourite food which she used to make for me, mixed with all the love she had in her.

It was all her.

But, it was no more existing.

I kneeled down next to her and cried. I cried like it's gonna somehow bring her back. I cried like I was the one who had his wrist cut. I cried because the most precious thing was being taken away from me. I cried because I was holding myself back for so long.

She died.

But today Allie brought the topic of my mother and explained that it wasn't what I was thinking it was. She was murdered. She was murdered by her own fucking husband.

He murdered her.

On the other hand, Stella hasn't left my mind for a single second, and the fact that she's the baby I've seen so many times before when I was a kid is so revolting to our scenario right now. I could've never ever imagined that it was Stella. She's Lily's daughter, she came to our house so many times when my mom was hurt and needed someone to talk to.

Now when I'm thinking about it, it's actually looking like it can be true. Stella's hazel eyes are the sign which makes me want to believe it. Lily used to live with her family in the US, but shifted her for a few months, I remember it very clearly. I don't remember her surname though, not sure if it was the same as Stella's. I've seen them, and that's before they got divorced and Stella's father decided to just drop her into an orphanage and leave?

Why is everything making sense now? I don't want it to. It's so fucked up.

But my mom.

My mom was killed.

By her own fucking husband.

"He made it look like it was a suicide. It was a part of the plan. Fyi, don't get me wrong, I wasn't there." She begins, still keeping the smile on her face very apparent, "I've just heard your father narrate the story to me."