Rebellion on the Rebels

Chapter 7

"No," I shook my head as I washed the dishes. "I'm not going in there."

It was a week after the drill with Gale. He and Johanna were sitting on our couch, trying to convince me to go in to my first arena. Johanna was convinced it would help with my nightmares. I asked her if she went into her first arena, and it turns out she lived there for two months. Gale just wanted me to get out of the house. I hadn't stepped a foot outside the house other than for showering since the raid practice.

"It'll help!" Johanna snapped. "Do you want to live with these nightmares for the rest of your life, or do you want to get rid of them while you can?"

Gale shot her a glare that said 'stop' and came to help me with the dishes. Surprisingly enough, Johanna was amazing at cooking. Two nights earlier she had managed to replicate the lamb dish I had in the Capitol and in my first arena.

"It'll be good to get out of this house," he said and dried the plates. "Come out and hunt with me. We could even go to an arena that has a beech."

There was something I hadn't told either of them. The nightmares had stopped when I was with Peeta, but I had had a nightmare every night since moving into Haymitch's old arena. I almost refused to believe it was all because of him. Almost.

"It's different for you," I muttered over my shoulder to Johanna.

"Really?" She gasped in mock shock then put the scowl back on her face. "Fine. If you can give me one way that it's different, I won't make you go."

Images of Prim went through my mind.

"Fine, I'll go," I muttered and went to my side of the cabin. I quickly changed and burried myself under the blankets of my bed and absently played with my hair as I tried to fall asleep.

It wasn't long before Johanna and Gale started talking. I went ridgid and tried to hear what they said.

"You know she never loved him," Johanna sighed loudly. "Stop looking at her like she hurt you. If she hadn't done what she did, we would all be dead."

"I know," he replied. "It's just so hard to deal with, knowing that he was there for her through all those tough times and I couldn't be."

"If it was you, you'd be dead," Johanna grumbled and started playing with something.

"I don't want her to go through anything else. It's already my fault her sister is dead, I can't make it my fault that she has even more nightmares."

"Yes, she's dead, but if you hadn't set off the bombs you'd be dead too," she pointed out.

"Stop saying that!" Gale bellowed and slammed his hands on the small coffee table. I flinched. The house had shook. I winced as I heard a few quiet snaps, and I suspected Gale owed us a table.

Neither of them said nothing for a long time. Eventually I gave in and peeked up from under my blankets. I quietly slid out of bed and crept to the middle of the cabin. The two weren't doing anything. Johanna was sitting with a closed book in her hand and one leg crossed, watching Gale. Gale was sitting with his hands over his face and his elbows on his knees.

I sat down beside Gale, but Johanna seemed to be staring through us. I awkwardly took one of Gale's arms off his knee and put it around my shoulders. I rested my head on his chest and held his other hand in both of mine.

"I know it's not your fault," I murmured and rubbed his hand. "I know you didn't mean to, I know you wanted to be there with me. I know."

"So you know everything about how I feel now, huh?" He teased and kissed me lightly on the top of the head.

"Yes," I sighed and closed my eyes.

"What else do you know about me?" He muttered and put his head on top of mine.

"You love me," I grinned goofily and he stiffened instantly. I laughed and looked up at him to kiss him on the cheek. "It's okay. I love you too."

Gale made a strange, happy sounding noise and burried a giant smiled in the top of my head. I smiled too, and eventually fell asleep.