ZAYN'S P.O.V
It's 10:04AM and I have just woke up so now everyone is awake Louis. I climb out of bed quietly before i make my way down stairs with the other boys and Lou's family. Everyone is in the living room because they have all had break fast. I go to the kitchen and grab a bite before i joined them in the living room.
It's been around 4 hours since i woke up and Louis is still sleeping. While Louis has been sleeping we have all agreed to have a little 2-3 hour road trip from Donny to London in Harry's Jeep. I have decided to check on Louis. I walk up stairs to his room and as i entry he is exiting.
"Oh, afternoon mate. How was your sleep?", I ask sarcastically.
"Grand mate. 'was a long one" , Louis replies but i can tell somethings up.
"You can't hide anything from me, what's up?", I reply seriously.
"You know the usual. I don't wanna leave my family, I'm gonna miss 'em so much again and it sucks", He spoke tearing up.
"You're going to see them soon Lou, they are coming to your first show in a few weeks, Lottie will probably stay a few more days before she goes home and you can always facetime the younger ones and your mam", I comfort as i wrap my arms around the older but smaller boy. " I know it isn't the same but trust me, it helps. I do it all the time", I continue.
"True but I just get sad a lot on tour without them and am scared or doing something on tour that they won't agree with, you know? and I don't know. I think i'm just over thinking everything", Louis says as if he family would be disappointed in him.
"Lou, You're thinking about things too much. What happened to 'live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain'?", I say knowing he lives by this quote and has done since 2010 from what i know of.
"Sometimes you live life for the moment and the moment reminds you that you are uncertain about your past", Louis answers as he walks past me in a hurry.
LOUIS' P.O.V
I walk past Zayn as quickly as I can leaving him with a few deep but truthful words which describes my current mood. Living life for the moment in my past has brought me nothing but uncertainty and regret. Living life in the past for me was dating girls and doing rebellious things which every teenager does but I was worse. I left my mum and sisters worrying about me at 2AM while I was out with Stan and my girlfriend at the time drinking alcohol to drown out my thoughts. Everyday my thoughts haunted me knowing I was gay and ashamed was the worst feeling in the world and dating girls who were so deeply in love with me was the worst feeling ever, having to let them down lightly when I was no longer feeling the friendship connection with them that I once felt.
I was a horrible person and I'm afraid that one day I am going to let them down again; that one day I am going to do something I used to do during my rebellious years and they are going to say 'enough is enough' and wash their hands with me. But now that they know I am gay, I don't know if they are just being nice because the boys are around or because they mean it. That they are doing it because they accept me as a gay individual or that they just want to come across nice in front of other and that when we leave today they are all going to make up excuses about coming to random concerts to show their support.
I made my way down stairs after I walked out on Zayn abruptly. My mind was telling me he is going to hate me for being rude as Liam asks how I slept. I told Liam i slept fine, which is the truth. I had a great sleep it was just a late night and when I woke up it hit me that I will be leaving to go to my house today.
"We are all going to road trip today Lou. We are all going to take Harry's jeep because it's spacious and we are going to have a 2 to 3 hour drive together so it's a fun journey home", Niall states in his pure Irish accent.
