LOUIS' P.O.V
It's the morning of the first show without Zayn, which also makes it 6 days since I last saw Harold. 6 days and we haven't exchanged messages or phone calls. 6 days, making it 7 nights ago that I dropped the 'L' bomb. He left the morning after with a note taped to my fridge which read ;
Lewis,
Sorry for the abrupt leave. See you on tour. I love you,H.
Typical. No one ever wakes you to say that they are leaving, they leave you sleeping while the leave with no explanation or reason behind their move. I took the note and ripped it to shreds. Leaving it on the kitchen counter, I walk back to my room.
Now 6 days on I'm sitting in a hotel room alone, my only entertainment is my laptop, phone and the hotel TV which i can confirm isn't very entertaining, each channel seems to be 'BREAKING NEWS' or some crime show that has been on repeat for the past 3 hours.
The show is in 5 hours so I need to find entertainment. I open my laptop hoping the fans are in good spirits for our first show without Zayn...Who am I kidding? They're all devastated. I am too. I'm worried that I will have no one to help keep me calm before the show, once I'm on stage I am fine but before I go on stage I get extremely nervous and 9 times out of 10 I have a panic attack which causes me to worry more.
@Louis_Tomlinson I am excited for the show tonight.
I sent out a tweet and within seconds hundreds of fans are replying then shortly after I check the tweet again 387K RT's and 752 FAV's. There were a load of replies coming faster and faster each second as i scrolled down them but only one court my eye. The one that read;
@Shipsailsstrong You taught me to smile. You taught me how to be myself even if you are unable to be yourself. You also taught me that being slightly weird is okay, I wanted to thank you for that.
I love these replies, the ones that have nothing to do with what I have tweeted but they reply to them anyway just to show how much I mean to them but in reality if they didn't exist then I would just be another face in Donny with a relatively large family. I was tempted to RT the tweet but management would have been on my case because they are a 'Larry' fan account and our management don't want us to draw attention to our sexuality even though me and harry aren't dating. Oh how I wish that was different.
I spent the next hour or so stalking fan accounts on twitter to see what the latest 'gossip' is, all I found was a bunch of heartbroken teenagers emotionally unstable,as they would call it, because of Zayn's decision. It must be hard for them, as it is hard for us. I just pray they all stay safe and don't lose faith in us.
My phone removes my attention from the laptop as it rings uncontrolably on my night stand. The caller ID said it was 'Mother goose' but the person on the other side of the phone wasn't my mother. It was one of my sisters;Fizzy.
"Lou? Zayn left", She states as her voice shakes proving she is trying her best not to cry.
"I know, I know. Trust me we only found out the day before the facebook statement was released. How are you holding up princess?", I reply trying to comfort her.
"Not gunna lie boo. Not well.. can I come out today and see you tonight? We are only a 3 hour flight away", she convinces me.
"Sure, put mum on the phone for a moment and I will arrange it. You can stay in my hotel too and keep me company because I'm extremely lonely and it sucks", I reason with her and she puts my mum on the phone.
We make an arrangement but my mam is unable to come so the two sets of twins have to stay home with her but my aunt agreed to go on the plane with Fizzy and Lottie as she has a business meeting here tomorrow at 5PM. 4 hours later and the girls are here, my aunty leaves them with me as she goes off to check into her hotel a few block down, not forgetting to say 'good luck' before leaving.
"We have an hour before the concert starts and 1 hour and a half before we have to be on stage , what shall we do? We can't leave the venue though", I say trying my best to keep my mind at ease.
"I want to do make-up and hair, can I do yours?", Lottie speaks up and I agree to it.
"Don't make me look silly, I trust you", I tell her sternly knowing I won't have enough time to wash it off and get Louise to re-do it before show time.
"I won't, I promise", Lottie replies honestly.
"Lou? Can we go in the tour bus?", Fizzy asks.
"Sure. Do you want to go now? The drivers aren't there but there's a spare key somewhere around here for it", I reply in hopes of giving Fizzy what she wants.
"Yeah, is this it?", She questions while holding the key to my tour bus which I used to share with Zayn.
"Yeah, lets go. Grab everything you need Lottie and you can do it in the tour bus", I state which is shortly followed by me explaining to Louise that Lottie is doing my hair and make but she's doing it in the tour bus.
Security brought us out to the bus but there wasn't many fans, just a few, around 12. They asked for a photo so me, Lottie and Fizzy posed for a group photo which the security guy agreed to take. We said our 'enjoy the show' and 'goodbye' before we walked off to the bus.
As soon as we get on the bus Lottie starts setting up all her tools and make up on the table at the back of the bus while Fizzy went straight to the bunks.
"Which one is Zayn's?", she asks.
"This one", I point to Zayn's bunk and she climbs in, I decided to leave her because I know how much she loves alone time when she upset.
Lottie finally finishes my hair and make up after around 45 minutes of having to sit still but It looks good, even if I do say so myself. I get up and tell Lottie that I am going to check on Fizzy and she nods her head in agreement.
I get to the bunk she is lying in and I crawl in beside her. I wrap my arms firmly around her body and pull her closer so she is near me. I can tell she has been crying because I can hear her sniffing as if she has been. I turn her around so she is faces me and it broke my heart. She looked like she has been crying for days, to anyone else she would look terrible, as if she hasn't slept for weeks but to me she looks like my princess regardless of the tears.
"Hey, nobody likes it when their princess cries! He is still Zayn, you know? He just instead in the band anymore but that doesn't mean you're never going to see him again. How about we facetime Zayn tomorrow?", I confirm as I mentally pray that he answers his phone in the morning.
As we are about to leave the bus I remember that one of Zayn's hooded jumpers are still in his draw as he didn't come back for it when he left.
"Hold up Fizzy, I have something for you and I'm sure Zayn wouldn't mind you having it and if he does I will buy him another one", I say as I walk back to his draw and pull out a red hooded jumper which has the words "Nike Air" printed on the front in black text.
"Thankyou boo. I love you", She tells me as she pulls the jumper over her head.
"I love you too and I love you Lottie", I reply as we walk back to onto the stadium grounds back stage and everyone is waiting on me.
