LOUIS' P.O.V
It's five minutes before stage time. Our opening video is rolling on the screens and I can hear the crowd roar every time they see their favourite member. I'm nervous, Zayn isn't here to help me who am I supposed to stand next to when I feel panicked? I guess I will have to just pop out to the toilet and get someone to do their speech while I'm gone.
There's three minutes to go and I have managed to keep my anxiety on the low, Niall still does know about it so if I need to leave for a 'toilet break' I will get Niall to cover for me. My tummy is churning, my heart rate is becoming incredibly fast and my hands are shaking.
"Ritual", Niall speaks up taking us all out of our own worlds and back into reality.
We all stood in a circle and placed our hands on top of the person beside us. Of course I would be standing next to Niall and Harry. I place my hand on Niall's hoping he can't feel me shaking. I was proven wrong as he looks at me as if he is concerned then turns his hand around so he is holding my hand,I guess it is comforting. Harry then proceeded to put his hand on top of mine unaware that Niall has hold of my hand. Liam ends the ritual by placing his hand on Harry's and Harry sang a mocking song about a belly and some pork. Then we officially ended the ritual by throwing our hands in the air but by this time I had zones out so if it wasn't for Niall holding my hand I wouldn't have my hand in the air.
"1 minute to go guys,get in your starting places", Our tour manager shouts.
We make our way to the entry place backstage, the time seems to drag. That one minute we were standing there before the music to our first song on the set list played felt like hours.
We run out on stage and the crowd go wild, fans crying and holding up signs reminding us we are a family even if Zayn is not here. If only they knew.
Zayn hasn't returned any texts or calls from me since he left the band so I guess our friendship didn't mean anything to him. 4 years, coming up 5 and he now ignores me. I guess I'm not good enough for whatever big plans he has for his 'normal 22 year old' life. I push everything to the back of my mind when Harry starts singing. I told myself to focus a million times but I couldn't.
The only way I could keep myself focused on the show was by focusing myself on the song, I didn't even acknowledge the fans screaming or my band members dancing around like idiots. I managed to pull through the first half of the show without panicking and only missing my cue to sing once.
We all run off stage and go back stage. Lottie is waiting at the side for me with a towel and a drink.
"Where's Fizzy?", I asked concerned as I am supposed to be her guardian while she is out here for a few days.
"She went to the bus with Louise, don't worry she said she'd stay with her until she is finished in there", She replied putting my mind at ease.
"We have 15 minutes, we should go see her and maybe invite her on stage to take her mind off Zayn", I tell Lottie and she agrees following me out to the parking lot where the tour buses are parked.
We get there and the sight is heart breaking. Fizzy is crying and Lou is trying her best to keep her calm which isn't working. I can't help but mentally kick my self a million times for being on stage while she is in a state of mind like this. She physically looks drained and she is hysterically crying saying she 'misses Zayn' over and over again.
"Hey, Fiz. do you want to come on stage with us? You can sit with Josh, I know you like Josh. C'mon?" ,I state as I pick her up and get her back stage with only 5 minutes before show time again.
My mind has been so distracted that I forgot all about my anxiety and focused on how to keep myself focused. Our tour manager shouts about having a minute before part 2 of the show and this time the time flies.
