LOUIS' P.O.V
I woke up from a bad dream, sweat poured down the side of my face letting me know it was intense. I slowly sat up to try and regain my thoughts. My mind was running wild, every possible outcome to my bad bream ran through my head and I felt my chest tighten. A sharp pain hung around my chest and back area as I tried to regain the breath I lost during the event which is currently happening.
My breathing becomes heavier and for the first time since 2010 I have lost control over my anxiety attacks. Embarrassment washes over me as I hear Liam stir in the bed beside me. Hoping he will fall back to sleep I started to pant quietly. I always cope well with these if I remove myself from the environment which they started in but this time I can't move. My body feels numb and breathing becomes more and more uneven and shorter as the attack progresses. I see Liam sit up beside me as a tear runs down my face.
If Liam catching you mid way through a anxiety attack isn't embarrassing then I don't know what is. I tried my best to avoid his face but he kept telling me to 'breathe'. If it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't talk i would have replied with a sarcastic remark about how I am trying but in this moment I couldn't. After a few minutes of Liam trying to help he decides to get one of the other boys.
"Who shall I get?", Liam asks with fear spread across his face.
"Za-yn", i manage to reply. pronouncing his name as if they were two separate words.
Liam rushes off to get Zayn and in the process of waking Zayn up, he ends up waking Harry up too. Liam, Zayn and Harry come rushing into the room to see what's up and all I can think about is how stupid I must look and how pathetic I am for panicking over something as small as a dream in their eyes but to me it's more than a dream. The dream with additional stress and fear is what caused it. I know it did.
"Lou, shall we leave?" Liam asks referring to himself and Harry.
I nod but Harry refuses to leave me in this state so they both end up staying until I was able to catch my breath again and breathe easily.
"It's just after 6AM should we just call it a morning and go down stairs?", Harry asks me trying to show me sympathy but I didn't want sympathy, I want to be alone so I can write.
"No, It's alright. I'll be fine. Just go back to bed. Sorry - I'm sorry I woke you all up. It's controllable", I reply trying my best to sound as if the event that just occurred is natural but I could tell they didn't believe that I was fine.
Zayn and Harry decided to sleep in the same room as me and Liam goes off into Harry's room which sucks because I wanted to be the person alone so I could write a letter but I guess it's going to have to wait as I am trapped in the middle of Zayn and Harry. Zayn cuddles into me and i try my best not to cuddle into Harry so I hug Zayn back.
I must have fell back to sleep quick as I woke up again at 11:49AM and Harry is cuddling into me and Zayn is no where to be seen in the room. I squirm out from under Harry's arm trying my best to not wake him up, I fail miserably, as I get out of bed I turn to see if Harry is syill sleeping but Harry must have had thesame idea as me. Harry turns to see who left him and I'm standing with fear taking over my face.
"You're a good cuddler. I miss our cuddles and our random inside jokes that no one else knows about", Harry talks.
HARRY'S P.O.V
"You're a good cuddler. I miss our cuddles and our random inside jokes that no one else knows about", I spoke up, trying to hold back the tears that are currently pricking my eyes.
"I don't know. I miss it too but I guess time changes people and people can't change time as it does so", Louis replies casually as if he is not fazed by our friendship being non-existent.
