LOUIS' P.O.V
"Can you remember the days we used to watch 3 or 4 'Larry stylinson' Videos a day?", I ask, hoping he remembers still because those days meant a lot to me.
"Hell yeah! Oh and the time we put a mask on to kiss because the fans thought we were dating and Modest! wanted it all to be a secret?", Harry replies as I remember the day clearly.
"Who would forget pretending to kiss Harry Styles?", I state sarcastically.
"Ah Lewis. You never really did lose your sassy side, did you?, Harry laughed.
"Did you honestly think the sass master would lose his sassy side?", I state honestly.
"Yeah, No I knew you would be the same ol' Lou. I just miss being close to you, you know? We were literally inseparable then it all changed so suddenly-I just...I just forgot how you treat me until I saw you getting close to Zayn then I realised the way we used to be was the same way you and Zayn are now. It sucks but I got used to it", Harry blurts.
"Look Harry. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. We were close and as i said life events and changes happen. We are still the same as we were in 2012, we just don't show it. Nothing changed between us-Just lack of communication. I'm sure one day you will realise that", I reply hoping it makes Harry feel better because there is nothing worse than a broken Styles.
"I know Louis. I just, I want us to be us, you know? I want flirty on stage moments, I want awkward dancing when the attention is on another band member and most of all I want our friendship to be as strong as ever. It won't change over night but one day you have to tell me everything, I mean everything. From what you did the day before to your anxiety and how it started. I need to know. For your sake, so i can help you with controlling it and breathing through them. I want to help", Harry replies.
"This was a bad idea. I am sorry. I have to go. I will just get a taxi don't worry about driving me", I replies as he rushes up to the spare to grab my over night bag.
One of the worst ideas I have had in a very long time. I want to work things out with Harry but I also want privacy, I want to keep some things to myself. That's the thing with Harry, every problem or issue you have then becomes his problem, there is no way he will let me cope alone so i have to leave. Friendships are great, Harry is great but explaining my condition which could be classed as a mental health issue,isn't what I want to do and it isn't what i want to build a friendship upon. I want him to build a friendship with me and not my anxiety disorder.
"See you soon on tour", I reply as i walk out of his house.
As soon as I got out of his house I sat on his front door step and waited for the taxi I had ordered to take me home, to my place. I don't want to talk to anyone in this moment. The taxi didn't take long, around 5 minutes, if that. Harry didn't leave the house to say bye or even say sorry for bringing my disorder up. He knew I was uncomfortable about it when he came to help me this morning, he knew it, but he still brought it up and didn't apologise for it. Great.
HARRY'S P.O.V
"See you on tour", Louis replies as he walks out of my home.
He walked out on me. The one person who wanted to help him, the one person who loves him for every reason named possible, the one person who wanted to make it right with him and now I can't. He left. No explanation, he just went. I messed up so bad but I don't deserve a second chance so I am going to let him continue his ife without my friendship, he has my support but our friendship is no longer alive. Lets just say it end with 2012. I regret everything i have said to him today and I wish i coud take it all back but sometimes you have to step back and realise that some things aren't acceptable and some things should not be made right if we were meant to be friends , we would be but we aren't. It's time i gave up.
I decided that watching some funny 'Larry Stylinson Crack' videos on youtube would solve my problems but they didn't. I am onto the third video and i can't stop the tears which are currently flowing uncontrollably down my checks. I picked up my phone and decided I needed answers.
To Lewis
What's up? why did you leave? I thought we were going to have catch up time?, H.
From Harry.
Louis took around an hour to reply and when he did i didn't know what to expect in the message as my phone flashed his name across my lock screen. So I opened the message.
To Harold
I guess some things are meant to be kept secret and if it wasn't for me sharing a bed with Liam no one would know. You don't want to know me, you want to know my anxiety more. There i said it. I suffer with anxiety and have since 2010. Now become friends with that!
From Louis
That Hurt.
To Louis
Do I even get a chance to explain? I don't want a friendship with you because you suffer with anxiety. Ever since we stopped being close and you broke contact with me, I used to think about the day we would be close again. That was long before i found out you had anxiety. Don't let it define you. I can be your friend and accept your anxiety or i can not be friends with you and ignore everything about you, including your anxiety. Your choice,H.
From Harry
Louis didn't reply after that. He read it, he must have. It's been over two hours he has to have read it. All these years wanting something that one day I would blow up with one mention of an disorder he can not control. I feel like i have cheated myself, I feel broken, like I am not whole. Like he took a piece of my friendship with him as he left but brought it back for a day before destroying it. But the truth is, I ruined it this time. Louis didn't do anything wrong. Everything has ended the wrong way up and there's no turning back.
