Still In Love With You

I Need Time

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Dylan

I have no idea how I got home. I just know I made it in somehow. I think I drank far too much, but I still can't get Troy off my mind. The more I sat in my living room, the more I thought of him. I can't bear not having him. I really messed up this time, and I don't know how to fix it.

My head is so dizzy, and I'm seeing more than double, and everything is spinning so badly. I decided to move to the bedroom, but soon as I got up, I felt everything in my stomach rise. Iran to the bathroom and puked my guts out. My phone rang as I finished hurling, I sat, cleaned my mouth, and looked at my phone. It was really late, and I somehow hoped it was Troy calling me.  At least to tell at me or anything. But I was disappointed, Roxanne was calling me.

She was probably calling to apologize. I chuckled, denying the phone call and tossing the phone next to me. I couldn't help but cry. God, I wish I could undo everything...Casey...the cheating...the lying. I bend my knees, resting my elbows on them and crying, covering my eyes.

"Dylan. Dylan, I know you're in there, open up. Please? Look I'm sorry." A loud knock brought me out of my solitude just to piss me off. Roxanne was at my door.  I didn't answer her, I stayed on my bathroom floor, feeling pity for myself for being so stupid.

I stayed the whole night on that floor, listening to her knock until she got fed up and left. I must have fallen asleep soon after. Then around three in the morning, I got up and walked to Troy's house. I know it's far, and it's fucking cold, but I don't care, I have a good jacket with me anyway.

When I got there, it was pretty dark, so he was probably asleep. I sat on a lawn chair he had displayed out in the backyard and covered myself with one of the fleece throws that he jeeps around in the backyard and fell back asleep. I can't let him go... I just can't. He means far too much to me.

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Troy

I woke up with a severe headache. I didn't sleep much last night. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't cry. I cried all night, and a part of me wished he would have sent me a message or tried to call me, but he didn't. I'm still trying to process the fact that it's over between Dylan and me. It hurts a lot... I never thought this day would happen. I was sure that he and I would be together forever.

I went to the backroom and cleaned off, washing my face, and teeth. Then I made my way to the kitchen and started the pot of coffee. My grandma has been in New York with my parents for the past week and a half. She won't be coming back for a few more days, so I guess I have the who, e house to myself.

I served myself a coffee, grabbed my iPad to read the news, and start my day by checking my emails.  Grabbed a bagel with cream cheese and decided to head to my backyard to be a little calmer. Maybe the quietness and nature will help me feel a little less blue.

I opened my glass sliding door and took my stuff outside, placed them on the patio table, and sat, taking a sip from my coffee. My heart sank as I saw a big figure laying on one of the chairs by the pool. "What the hell?" I said out loud as I got off my chair and grabbed a golf club from the side. Technically, it was Dylan's since he likes to play golf, but this was crucial right now... Someone freaking broke into my backyard and slept here.

I heard a grunt from the person as I got near, and by the sounds of the voice, I was sure it was a dude. "You gotta be kidding me?" I whispered as I neared a bit more, I was not going to let this slide, what the hell is this guy thinking, breaking into my house?

He stirred, and sat up slowly, with the blanket covering him from head to toe. This was it, I was going to make his ass regret breaking into my house, I took a swing at him. I smacked him on his back, getting a loud 'ouch' in return, making him stand quickly. He turned as I smirked and n0dded in triumph... Take that fucker!

"What the fuck?" he yelled, as he threw the blanket off his body and turned, making my eyes almost pop out of their sockets as I realized it was Dylan.

"Dylan? What the hell are you doing in my lawn chair? It's freezing out here. Did you..." I said as I tilt my head to the side and glanced around.v" Did you sleep out here all night?" I asked making him grab his shoulder in agony. "Man, you have a good swing. I guess I deserved that though," he says as he rubs his shoulder and temples, taking a seat back on the chair.

"Well, you kind of did. What the hell are you thinking? I could have killed you." I scolded him, folding my hands in front of my chest and taking a seat on the chair in front of him. "Troy, I... I wanted to apologize to you. I wanted to talk to you last night, but you were already asleep. I knew you'd be mad, so I didn't go in. And I can't be at my place knowing what happened between us. Baby.." he says as he gets up and walks towards me, getting on his knees, trying to hug me.

"I'm sorry. Believe me, I wanted to tell you, but I was scared, scared to lose you, to lose what we have. Troy, I know I fucked up, I sh9uld have never gotten involved with Casey, and I know there was a time when you suspected...I lied to you because I panicked. I don't want to lose you. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Please, Troy, give me another chance? I'm begging you." God, I hate to admit that there were times when we were apart and I wasn't attracted to someone else...but that didn't mean I went and cheated on him.

"I don't want to lose you either Dylan, but you messed up...big time. It's going to take me a while to trust you again."

His eyes glistened as he looks up at me with hope in his eyes. "Are you saying you're going to give me a second chance?" he asks, straightening his spine and pulling me by the waist. I push on his chest and tilt my head. "It means...I need time. I forgive you because I don't want to live hating you or having grudges in my heart, but maybe we should postpone the wedding just for now... Until we can both be honest, and I can trust you again."

He lowers his head, and sniffles as he lets tears run down. "I will wait and give you as much time as you need. But believe me, Troy, I will never give up on us. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I will try my best to redeem myself and prove to you that I love you with all my heart." he cups my face, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

I know I want to marry him, and I love him so much. But, he has to realize that I can't forgive him so easily for what he did and rest assured... There won't be a next time. I will not stand for a cheating husband. If he expects faithfulness from me, then I expect to same from him.

I went inside, sat with him for a while, while we had coffee and breakfast. We talked about my rules and boundaries towards where we were going to take this relationship. He was crushed to know I wasn't taking him back yet, I needed time to think, but Sophie and Logan are right. I love him, and I don't want to lose him, but maybe this break will make him realize if he truly is willing to spend the rest of our lives together, or if he just doesn't want to be alone? 

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