Permission to Love

Chapter Eleven

"One hour and thirteen minutes." Alexander speaks after doing the calculation in his head while walking up the steps to his and Kathryn's house, his voice quickly pulling her from her thoughts as she smiles over at him.

"Two minutes shorter than last time." 

Alexander chuckles a bit and pulls out his keys to unlock the front door. "I'm thinking we can get out of next months business party in less than an hour if we keep this up." 

Kathryn laughs softly and enters the house as Alexander holds open the door with a smile. "By next year we won't even need to get out of the car; just pull up to the door and leave."

"Sounds good to me." He concludes before removing his jacket from Kathryn's shoulders and placing it on the hook beside the door. She turns to walk up the stairs but Alexander gently takes her by the hand to stop her. "Wait..." He whispers softly as he pulls her back to his chest. "I just wanted to say thank you for attending these boring business parties with me, I know you would rather be home with Jaelyn." He slowly reaches up and pushes a strand of hair from her face as his second gesture of the night. These small gestures are Alexander's way of testing the waters; if she retreats it means she is still in pain and needs him to wait, if she remains still it means he is making progress and her heart is healing. The day when she reciprocated his advances is just a farfetched dream in Alexander's eyes but he continues trying because it is all he can do.

Kathryn shrugs and forces a small smile. "Wife's attend their husband's business meetings and if we want to keep living this way, we have to follow the status quo."

He stares at her a moment in deep thought before finally breathing out one small question. "Do you want to keep living this way?"

Before he can receive his answer, the small patter of feet making their way down the stairs cause both Alexander and Kathryn to turn and face the small child. "Mommy!" The child's face lights up and she quickly races down the steps before flying into Kathryn's arms, causing Kathryn's face to light up in nothing but pure joy.

"What are you still doing up, Missy?"  Kathryn playfully scolds as she holds the small girl close to her heart.

"Nanny Grace fell asleep watching Happy Days again." The girl responds with a childlike grin as both Kathryn and Alexander exchange smirks. Kathryn plants a soft kiss against the girls head before starring into those familiar deep brown eyes that always seem to take her back to that scary yet, somehow, hopeful day three years ago.

~ 

"Where is she?! Is she okay?!" Madeline immediately began questioning Alexander as she flew into the hospital waiting room, obviously distraught over the urgent phone call she received from Alexander just minutes earlier.

Alexander stood up and stepped forward, trying to calm her worries by speaking softly. "She's fine, Maddy." He had grown closer to Madeline the past few weeks due to her numerous visits to the house. They were both concerned for Kathryn and bonded because of it. Madeline became a good friend and an understanding ear, which is why he felt so comfortable using her shortened nickname.

"What's going on, Xander? Why is she in the hospital?" Madeline continued questioning, still confused.

Alexander sighed and began to explain everything from the beginning. "I brought her breakfast this morning and she lost it-"

"Again." Madeline interrupted with a deep sigh after hearing that her best friend had gone through another episode for the fourth time that month.

"I was about to leave when she started having a severe pain in her stomach. I called the ambulance and the doctors just finished running some tests."

"And?" Madeline urged, wanting to know all of the detail and just how serious the phone call was.

"Maddy...she's pregnant."

Madeline stared ahead in stunned silence but she finally lifted her hand to her mouth in order to silence the small gasp that had escaped. "It's..." She stumbled over a better way to word her question and eventually just gasped one word. "Jamie?"

Alexander nodded as if reading her mind and Madeline reached up to cover her mouth with both hands this time. "I need to see her." She quickly spoke up, knowing she needed to find out how Kathryn was feeling and what she was thinking before she could come to her own conclusions about what all of it meant. Alexander led her down a hall of nothing but white walls and into a room with a plaque outside labeled, 'Weston'. She quickly rushed to the side of Kathryn's bed and wrapped her arm around the pale looking girl, careful not to disrupt any of the wires running out from the machines to her body. She pulled away and looked intently at her best friend, who seemed to be wasting away to nothing. Her body was limp and frail, the only part of her that was protruding was the small, barely noticeable bump on her stomach.

"I guess Xander told you." Kathryn finally spoke up, breaking Madeline's stare down with her stomach.

"What's going to happen?" It was the first question that came to Madeline's mind and she couldn't help but feel like the answer to that question was all she needed.

Kathryn glanced up at Alexander as if pleading for the right answer and knowing that it wouldn't be long before the thing they feared most would come barging through those doors.

"I haven't called Kat's parents yet so we have some time to figure out what we're going to do." He pointed out, as if he was reading Kathryn's mind.

"Are you going to tell them that it's Jamie's?" Madeline questioned in concern.

Kathryn began to speak but Alexander quickly interrupted. "No, she can't."

She looked back at Alexander with wide, desperate eyes. "Of course I'm telling them. What else am I supposed to do? They're my parents and this is their grandchild, I have faith that they will love him or her no matter what."

Alexander stepped towards Kathryn's hospital bed with a pleading expression before sitting in the chair beside her. He took her hand which she promptly pulled away, just like always. "You can't tell your parents that Jamie is the father of this child." He continued, not bothering to grieve over the fact that Kathryn couldn't even hold his hand without feeling as if she was betraying Jamie. "I know you always want to see the best in your parents but if you tell them, I can guarantee they won't be near as understanding as you're hoping they will be."

"My parents aren't yours, Xander!" She fought back with the idea in her head that she needed both her parents but most of all; her mother. All she could think about was the fact that she couldn't raise this child herself and she wished more than anything that Jamie was there with her. She looked down at her hand placed gently across her stomach as tears began falling slowly down her face. "I can't do this myself."

Alexander reached for the hand placed over her stomach once again, only this time she didn't pull away. "You don't have to." He whispered softly, causing Kathryn's head to jerk up at the confusing comment. "We will tell your parents that I'm the father and I will stay with you and help you raise this baby. Everyone needs to believe that this baby is mine." Something shifted among them in that moment and somehow, they all knew that was one secret destined to live between the three of them for many years to come.

 ~

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU CAN! IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH!