Permission to Love

Chapter Ten

It seems cruel to believe that every single human soul on this planet means something. That every one single human life has some purpose and can make a difference in this world because if that were true, why does life continue on even after they are gone?

If every single human soul truly matters and affects the world as a whole, should it not stop spinning at least for a minute? Should we all not stop and grieve when one of our own falls? There are eight billion people in this world and everyday at least 250,000 human souls are taken to insure a balance. What if you imagine one of those souls is your mother, or your father, your brother, your sister or even your best friend; then will you stop what you're doing, close your eyes and take a moment to acknowledge their existence? Then comes the matter of time: how much time is an adequate and reasonable amount of time to grieve? For Kathryn, there is no time table; hours, days, weeks and months blur and she promises herself that there will be no amount of time when she has grieved enough; not even three years. 

{ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ}

The five story mansion dazzles inside as soft music plays from an orchestra in the very back of the building. Everyone passing by begins greeting the young couple that has just walked through the door, each one dressed to the nines in beautiful gowns and sparkling jewels. 

"You two look just lovely." One woman, in a dark blue gown, says with a bright smile while her husband stands beside her holding a glass of the finest champagne. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Montgomery. You look stunning this evening." Kathryn says with a smile and watches as the elderly couple continue into the large dance hall.

"You remembered her name?" Alexander whispers in her ear with surprise and smiles down at her as they make their way into the crowded room arm in arm.

She shrugs and speaks softly while starring straight ahead. "When you just remember that the elderly couple who smell like mozzarella has the last name 'Montgomery', it tends to stick after about the fifth business party."

Alexander chuckles softly but soon finds his laughter interrupted as a loud voice moves closer towards them. "Kat!"

Kathryn turns to find her best friend Madeline making her way through the crowded room and immediately lights up, bringing color to her face for the first time tonight. "Maddy!" She quickly wraps the small woman in a tight hug as Alexander slowly steps backwards into the party.

"I'll let you two catch up." He says with a small smile as Kathryn glances back with a small nod and smile of appreciation.

"So, how are things going?" Madeline questions, bringing Kathryn's eyes from Alexander back to her. "I feel like we haven't talked in weeks." 

Kathryn chuckles briefly. "Probably because we haven't."

Madeline links her arm with Kathryn's and walks over to the corner of the room with a bright smile as she continues to try and update herself with the happenings in her best friend's life. "How are things going with Xander? Any progress?" She smirks mischievously and elbows Kathryn in the side for emphasis.

She rolls her eyes in response and pulls her arm away so she can stand in front of Madeline with a disapproving expression. "Madeline." She says firmly before grabbing a glass of wine from one of the trays as they pass by.

Madeline sighs and places a hand on her hip to give Kathryn a grueling stare down. "Don't give me that Madeline crap." She mocks before taking a glass of champagne and sipping it slowly. "At least tell me that the happy couple is sharing a bedroom after three years." She says with a smirk after pulling the glass from her lips.

Kathryn lets out one loud sigh before glancing over her shoulder to find Alexander laughing with a few business associates. Where she and Alexander are concerned, the word bedroom only brought one day to her mind; one day three years ago when her entire life seemed to be changing faster than the seconds on a clock and it was only weeks after their tragic honeymoon. 

For most people, the end of the honeymoon is just the beginning of a wonderful new chapter but for Kathryn, the end of her honeymoon was signifying the end of living in denial and the beginning of her isolation. Even Alexander wasn't sure if she would ever recover.

"I brought you some breakfast." Alexander shouted through the closed bedroom door before knocking softly. "Kathryn? You didn't eat dinner last night so I know your hungry." He tried once more before letting himself into the room that was the epitome of depression. Dark drapes hung from the windows, baring any light from entering as a dull and lifeless body laid motionless beneath a large duvet covering the king sized bed. Alexander placed the tray of food on the table beside the bed and made his way over to the windows before pulling back the drapes. The bright sunshine from outside immediately filled the gloomy space. He then stepped slowly back to the bed and sat down on the edge before reaching over and pulling back the blanket that had made its way up to cover Kathryn's face. She had been in the same position for the last few weeks with the same pitiful expression and the same deafening silence surrounding her. Alexander knew she was there physically, at least, but once she heard news of Jamie's death; the part of her that fought to live, the part of her that laughed, and spoke, and loved, died with him and was somewhere on the other side just begging to be brought back. "I brought you some breakfast." He whispered once more as she slowly began to open her eyes.

"I'm not hungry." She mumbled before turning on her side to shield her face from his view.

"You can't hide from the world forever, Kat."

"Don't call me that." She mumbled once more, the tears begging to fall at the sound of Jamie's nickname for her.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." He sighed and grabbed the plate of eggs sitting on the table beside the bed. He scopped some up with the spoon and moved it slowly towards Kathryn's lips. "Please, eat. Your parents aren't going to be too happy with me if you die of starvation just four weeks into our marriage." It was out before he could bite his tongue and suddenly, so were the claws as Kathryn turned and grabbed the plate of eggs, throwing them violently across the room in anger. The plate crashed against the wall and shattered into a hundred tiny pieces that fell to the ground, creating an echo that seemed to vibrate throughout the room for minutes on end. 

She turned back to him with a glare so fierce, he was sure it could cause a mountain lion to retreat. "Don't you ever mention this absurd marriage or use death as the punch line for one of your pathetic little jokes ever again!"

"Kathryn." He breathed out helplessly, still in shock over her violent behavior, although it was the fifth plate she had broken that month.

"Leave!" She ordered while pointing towards the door as if the only thing she needed to make the picture complete were two brute guards at her door.

Alexander nodded reluctantly and slowly walked towards the door, but something stopped him on a dime as the sound of a loud screech tore through the room like nails on a chalkboard. He quickly turned around to find Kathryn doubled over in bed, holding tightly to her stomach as a severe pain shot through her like needles. Alexander rushed forward and placed a hand against her head as he stared down at her terrified. "Kathryn? Kathryn, what's wrong?! I'm calling an ambulance." He picked up the cell phone lying on the bedside table and immediately began dialing 911 though his stomach was churning in fear.

Little did Kathryn know then, it was just the beginning of a night stocked full of surprises.