Permission to Love

Chapter Seventeen

“So, Jackson, what do you do?” Alexander asks casually after everyone is seated around the dinning room table with their slice of birthday cake.

“Well, I’ve been helping out in my father’s auto shop since I could practically walk but once I save up enough money I’m going to travel a bit. There’s a lot I want to see and none of it is located in Queen’s.” He comments with a crooked grin and Kathryn nearly drops her fork at the sound of his aspirations. Jamie always wanted to travel, he talked about it constantly and she smiles a little at the thought of Jackson doing it to honor his brother. She thought about it a time or two herself. After the news of his death, Kathryn wanted nothing more than to escape. She dreamed of traveling the world and doing it all in tribute to the beautiful brown eyed boy who would never be able to, the boy she loved so much. It wasn’t but weeks later that Kathryn learned she was pregnant and it was just recently that she was starting to see how everything she did for Jaelyn was honoring Jamie’s memory. No matter how much it hurt, every day she kept moving, every day she continued laughing for Jaelyn’s sake and raising her right, she was honoring Jamie’s memory. Jaelyn is Jamie’s mark on this world and raising her into a beautiful, and compassionate person is more of a tribute than climbing even the highest peak in his honor.

“Anything special you’re interested in seeing?” Alexander asks before taking a bite of his cake.

Jackson shakes his head while starring down at his plate and making mindless designs in his icing. “Just anything I haven’t seen before, I guess.” He laughs softly and looks back up at Alexander. “It was more of my brother’s aspiration but now I’ve found it just might be mine as well.”

Kathryn could feel her stomach lurching and churning deep inside as she stares down at her piece of cake. She isn’t sure if it is due to the fact that Jamie’s name is about to be brought up or the fact that she has just eaten a rather large bite of pure frosting.

“So, where is your brother now?” Alexander questions and didn’t notice the green hue to Kathryn’s face until she’s up out of her seat and rushing to the bathroom. “Kat?” He immediately stands up in concern but she’s already past him and halfway to the bathroom. He looks back to the table and focuses on Madeline for some answers but she seems just as confused as everyone else. 

Jackson lifts his hand to his chin and Madeline turns to look at him just in time to catch the strange marking on his arm. She reaches out to brush her fingers over the tattoo of two bold named doves before looking up at him with a wide eyed stare. “James?” 

He glances down at the marking and quickly clears his throat. “Uh…yeah, it’s in honor of my brother. He died three years ago.”

Madeline’s eyes slowly wander back over to Alexander as he stands motionless in the middle of the dining room, his face slowly losing color much like Kathryn’s had earlier.

“Am I missing something here?” Jackson asks after taking notice of their similar dazed expressions.

“Jackson,” Kathryn’s soft voice calling from the entrance of the dinning room causes everyone but Jaelyn to stop and stare. The small child continues shoveling cake into her mouth without much care to the monumental realization going on above her head. “My maiden name is Lexington…Kat Lexington.”

It is now a moment of realization for Jackson as his fork makes a soft clatter onto his plate. He clears his throat before sliding back his chair and standing to his feet, despite the shakiness he is feeling throughout both legs. He takes slow and even steps until he’s standing in front of Kathryn, his expression calm and somber. “My brother loved you very much.” He chokes out softly while Kathryn tries to remove the tears that have already fallen in case her daughter is to turn around. “I always wanted to meet the girl who held my brothers heart, even if she did hold most of his time as well.” He chuckles softly, only causing Kathryn to shed a few more tears through a similar smile. She quickly wipes away the tears once more and looks over his shoulder to Madeline who has a few brimming tears of her own.