Fuck you, bro (Richie Tozier x Male!Reader)

•Thirteen•

DISCLAIMER: Charlie is a non-binary lesbian friend of Y/N! They go by they/them pronouns and sometimes she/her.

Word Count: 1261

Warnings: Cussing, heated arguments, cringe, inappropriate jokes, Pennywise discussion, mention of COVID.

Song for chapter 13 - WIP

***

"Remember when Eddie used to kiss his mother goodbye?" Both men sat at a table in a restaurant, reminiscing and laughing.

"Yeah and when he freaked out when I splashed shit water on him. That was hilarious!"

"Anyway, we need to actually get to the topic at hand. Do you think Pennywise is still alive and will come back when we're in a retirement home or dead? Should we go back and check?" Y/N asked.

"I don't think there's a way to check if it's really dead or not. I don't think it always sleeps in a well, but that's what happened the first time when it...went into a slumber, I guess? The best option for us is to check if there have been more cases of children going missing or found dead." Richie explained a rational answer.

"Alright, time to pull out the trusty Google." Richie pulled out his phone and searched for crime against kids in Derry.

"Doesn't seem like more than the usual." Richie stated after checking.

"Well, it should still be in a slumber, so yeah that makes sense. We either have to check it out ourselves and somehow make sure it's dead or just try to stay alive for a few more years and check it then. No biggie, we'll just roast it to death when we're on the verge of death ourselves."

"This is not something to joke about. Millions of lives are at stake! You know it, you saw how many people that thing killed over the years." Richie scolded Y/N and he got pissed off.

"Since when did you become so righteous? Last time I saw you, you were a paranoid coward! You were the definition of a clown. Pennywise would have taken you right after Eddie, since it seemed to take the weakest people." Y/N spewed words out without thinking.

"SINCE I SAW YOU ALMOST DIE! IT DIDN'T TAKE EDDIE BECAUSE IT TOOK YOU!" Richie slammed his hands down on the table and rose from his chair. The people at the restaurant got silent and looked at the two guys. Richie noticed, sighed and sat back down, trying to calm his rapid breathing.

"I mentioned Eddie, because that's what it was going after originally. I saved him, that's why he's still alive." Y/N started speaking when Richie had stopped gripping the table.

"Well, yeah? You shouldn't have."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULDN'T HAVE?! Should I have just left him there to die?! You WANTED him to just die there?!"

"There was a big chance you wouldn't have survived and then it'd would have taken Eddie too!"

"But I did survive, you fucking idiot AND I saved Eddie. If I hadn't done anything, at least one person would have been dead in that scenario. We both survived!"

"I- just don't do stupid stuff to risk your life anymore, alright?"

"Me? Do stupid stuff? You are the epitome of stupidity! I mean, look at you! You quit a successful future to become a mediocre comedian. Your jokes aren't even that funny-"

"They're not written by me-"

"You know what, nevermind. It was a mistake to come here. You just wanted to yell at me, because I rejected you three years ago." Y/N stood up from his chair and stormed out of the restaurant. The people were still eyeing the the table with confusion and concern. It looked like someone was about to ask the staff to make them leave, but since one of the guys already left, it wasn't worth it since there wasn't going to be any more ruckus.

Great, I can't go even five minutes without fucking something up, Richie thought to himself and decided to text Y/N later when he got home.

***

"FUCK!" Y/N yelled as he accidentally spilled food all over himself, because of his shaky, clumsy hands. He decided that he lost his appetite and was just going to take a bath to relax.

He closed the drain and let the water flow into the tub as he stared into the mirror. Looking for a reflection, something that could give him a grip on reality. Once the tub was half empty, he shed his clothing on the floor, not caring about where it went at the moment, and got in the warm water.

It was really temping to do it right now. Nobody was here to stop him. The needed materials were right there, by his feet. He could just reach over and...

...He reached over and grabbed the small plastic animals and dropped them in the water. He got some soap and began to wash himself to add bubbles to his bath.

"Hell yeah, this is the shit!" He closed his eyes and enjoyed the small amount of childhood.

Where did he get these toys, you may ask? They were meant to be a gift to his friend, because she was giving birth soon, but covid had struck, so he didn't get the chance to give them. When he DID get the chance, he forgot about it and got a different gift. Coming back home to the animals, he was too embarrassed to give them later, so he just kept them. Might as well make a use of them, he had thought.

The phone rang and Y/N almost bashed his head in the tub. He reached over the counter to check the caller ID. It was Charlie. He answered on instinct without hesitating.

"HEY, Charlie. I wasn't doing anything- uh, I mean hello, how are you?"

"...Are you alright? Anyway, I just wanted to call you to talk about some juicy gossip." Charlie sounded very excited over the phone and Y/N knew better than to interrupt them.

"I got hatecrimed at work as always, my boss is a Dick. Hah, well he really lives up to his name. But hey! I met a cute girl there. Not sure if she's interested, but I'm gonna ask her out for a drink soon. Now, did anything interesting happen to you?" She eagerly asked me.

"No..."

"Y/N!" She warned me.

"Alright fine! I got into an argument with my childhood best friend."

"You have a childhood best friend??? Why didn't I know about this?!"

"The hot guy. At the coffee shop."

"OHHHH, well, who doesn't love a coffee shop AU enemies to lovers, amirite?"

"What??"

"Nothing, nevermind. How did you get into an argument and why?" Charlie asked.

"What did Dick do this time?"

"Don't change the subject, Y/N!"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Charlie. How about you tell me what Dick did, hm?" Charlie sighed, but obliged.

***

A WEEK LATER

"What is all this?" Y/N asked, looking around the decorated garden.

"I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to yell at you." Richie explained.

"And yet you did."

"Yeah and I'm sorry, man. I just don't want to lose y-"

"Not this shit again. Dude, it's been three whole years since then!"

"Why are you so against this? Do you want to get yourself killed?" Richie asked quietly.

"Of course not! I just hate that you keep repeating like I can't hear you."

"Why do you hate it? Do you think you don't deserve hearing it?"

"Dude. If I said poop 200 times, wouldn't you be annoyed? Think logically." Y/N was on the verge of leaving again. Richie noticed it.

"Don't you dare leave! Not again. Please." He grabbed Y/N's shoulder.

Goddamn it, this man was going to be the end of him.

***

I have to post two more chapters today, so if you want me to publish them faster you can motivate me or something I guess. Love you guys and thank you for supporting me!