Fuck you, bro (Richie Tozier x Male!Reader)

•Nine•

Word Count: 1023

Warnings: Cussing, kind of a meltdown but not really, mentions of death, a kid.

Song for chapter 9 - "Seinfeld Theme"

***

"You know, he would have loved another peaceful moment like this without a killer clown chasing us," Bill said as all the Losers dined at the nearest fast food restaurant. They already knew who Bill meant by 'he'. Richie clenched his jaw.

"How do you know what Y/N would have loved?! You didn't even bother to give a single shit before he was dead! Back at the quarry you just pretended like Y/N didn't exist!" Richie smashed his fists against the table and stood up. The people working there were gone in the kitchen and there were no customers besides the Losers club, so there was quite the possibility of Richie choking the life out of Bill right now.

"Hey, that's not true, Y/N is my friend! I was just trying to cheer up everyone at the quarry. We can't be sad forever!" Bill defended himself.

"IT HAS BEEN ROUGHLY 2 HOURS SINCE HE DIED! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Richie yelled.

"Y/N wouldn't want for you two to fight!" Beverly tried to stop Richie.

"Don't give me that cliché movie/book line! I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be happy about Bill being a douche!"

"Rich-"

"NO! I'm TIRED of Bill acting like everything he does is fOr thE grEatEr gOoD!"

"Richie..."

"What's the matter with you-"

"RICHIE!!!" Beverly yelled at him again, obviously trying to catch his attention.

"WHAT?!" Richie yelled back. The rest of the Losers were silent. Richie was confused until he heard a voice behind them.

"Hey, guys..." The voice awkwardly said. The next few moments were literally a cliché movie/book scene. Richie turned around to see Y/N.

"Wh-" Richie was baffled. How was this even possible? Was he hallucinating again?

"So uh...somehow I'm not dead. It's really weird, but hey! Look at my arm, there's nothing there! That's so co-" Y/N was cut off by an impact, which almost made him fall back on the floor. Richie was hugging him. He was caught a bit off guard, but hugged back.

"I thought you were dead!" Richie mumbled. Then Y/N felt something wet on his shoulder.

"Oh, God! Why are you crying? Should I have died instead?" Y/N joked.

"No, no, I- these are happy tears." Richie smiled, pulling back from the hug. Although, his hands were still on his waist.

Y/N smiled back at him and looked behind him to see the Losers smirking. He rolled his eyes, because they were giving kissing gestures. What great friends. He literally just died, what the fuck?! That is so fucked up. At least they were supportive, I guess. They both went to the table.

"So how the hell are you alive, man? I mean, we saw you die- I don't understand." Ben asked Y/N.

"I have no clue. All I know is that I woke up and the place was caving in, so I had to get out of there. My arm is perfectly healthy like nothing ever happened. I guess you can't kill the reader." Y/N told them.

"The what-"

"Oh, nothing." Y/n mumbled and went to order some fries. They all sat and chatted for a little while longer.

"Hey, you're the dude who took my roller skates!" A boy's voice was heard from the entrance.

"I'm not a dude! You're a dude, I'm a man- oh, shit, yeah right, uh...about that..." Y/N stood up and walked over to the boy.

"What? Don't you still have them?" The boy asked in desperation.

"No- I just left them somewh- I'll be right back!" Y/N exclaimed and rushed out of the diner.

"Y/N, WAIT!" Richie yelled as he got up from the table and ran after him.

"Jesus, you don't have to follow me around. If I survived that then I can survive going on my own to get back roller skates." Y/N said as Richie caught up to him.

"Wait, can't we just drive? I have my car parked over here!" Richie offered and Y/N stopped in his tracks.

"...Fine." He gave in. They both walked over to his car and Richie unlocked it. They got in.

"So where'd ya leave them?" Richie asked.

"Uh...I might have...left them by the crackhead house..." Y/N mumbled.

"Oh, Jesus! They're long gone by now!" Richie exclaimed.

"No, no I remember placing them a bit further away, because of foreshadowing."

"Wha-"

"Nothing."

"Are they really that important right now?"

"yeS! Now drive!"

"OkaY!" Richie mocked Y/N's tone of voice and started up the car. They drove to the well house.

***

"Aha! I knew it. They're right there!" Y/N sprinted out of the car and got the roller skates. Richie sighed and waited for him in the car. When he came back with the roller skates, they both drove off back to the restaurant. The Losers club were paying for their food while the kid just sat there, waiting for his goddamn roller skates. Y/N ran in, right before the kid contemplated on leaving, and gave him the skates back.

"...so what now?" Beverly questioned. Indeed, what now? Y/N hoped he could get back to his job, but he doubted that, because his boss could have easily found a replacement.

The most important question Y/N wondered about was how the hell did he make it out alive? He was passed out one moment and then out of the house the other, abandoned with everyone else gone. He had thought for a moment that he had made it out and the Losers were dead down in the crackhouse. The second thought process was that he was having some kind of episode and that his whole life wasn't real and he just woke up in the middle of nowhere. He decided to wander into the town and thanked the universe that he was a real person who lived a real life and the Losers were in a restaurant.

"N-now...we get to live our lives without a clown tormenting us," Bill replied. No shit.

***