Fuck you, bro (Richie Tozier x Male!Reader)

•Two•

Word Count: 1089

Warnings: Cussing, fourth wall breaking, annoying child, kinda Karen person.

Song for chapter 2 - "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj.

***

I'm screwed.

I had ignored it for long enough, I had to tell my boss about this. I'll probably get fired and replaced. Anything for getting rid a of a killer clown, though, right? I know I couldn't just not go, many lives (specifically, kid lives) are at stake. But can you really blame me for being hesitant? No sane person would risk their lives for some little shits.

My flight was in two days and I was currently procrastinating on getting packed and telling my boss about it. I couldn't not tell her, because what if there was suddenly a shortage of workers? I'll just call her, because there's no way I want to face her wrath in person.

"Mr. L/N? Why are you calling so late?" She sounded sleepy.

"Uhhh, I wanted to inform you that I have a flight in two days and I won't come back for at least two weeks." A brief silence followed.

"You should have warned me a bit earlier, but it's alright. I'll just, I'll get someone to stand in for you." Was I dreaming?

"Yeah, thanks, boss. Have a good evening." I hung up the phone. Was this some kind of sign that I HAD to go? There's no way she just let me go this easily. Yeah, there's absolutely no way I'm making out of this alive. Well, it was nice knowin ya, invisible people. I really have to pack stuff now.

***

Since I knew I wasn't going to make it out of this alive I decided to enjoy my last day in this town and go to all my favourite places, meet my friends. Hopefully they won't miss me too much. I'm gonna miss normal life, in this case however, life in general. Although, I won't be able to really feel anything, because I'm gonna be dead.

Anyway, moving on from the depressive shit, I am currently having the time of my life (chilling in Cedar rapids) eating my favorite foods and laughing with my friends about dumb shit. It honestly is a great day. I won't tell them I'm going away, though. Yeah, they'll notice I'm gone, but I don't really feel like explaining why.

I did pack all of my crap (including emotional baggage) in my suitcase last night after calling my boss. It was a small suitcase, but I didn't own much anyway. What is the point of me telling you this? I don't know, but it doesn't have anything to do with the pl-

I was told I couldn't speak about this and I had to make a formal apology in paper form, but there is no way I'm going to do that, so I'm just apologizing. Sorry, I guess. I don't know where that came from.

***

I was currently at the airport, waiting for my flight. I got here three hours early and now there was only a bit of time left before the flight is going to depart. I was playing some dumb game to pass the time.

Once there was an announcement I hurried to the plane last minute, because the dumb game had distracted me. Unfortunately, the seat RIGHT BEHIND ME was occupied by a small child with an iPad. This is definitely going to be a painful flight. Luckily, I got my headphones, so I'll be able to at least somewhat mute the sound of the child blasting those goddamn Skrillex Minecraft intros.

I plugged in my headphones and put them over my ears. Of course, I put on some Nicki Minaj like the baddie I am 🤪🤪🤪. Oh, by the way, some old grandma was sitting next to me and she gave me a weird look, because my headphones weren't quiet from the outside. How dare she not like our queen Ninki Minjaj 😢. I was sitting on the seat by the window, so it would take longer to get out of this seat.

***

(Yes, I'm referring to a child as an 'it')

Suddenly my seat was kicked from behind, so I looked over to glare at the child. It was too busy with it's iPad to notice, but it eventually looked up and thought my reaction was funny, so it kicked my chair again. I turned around and sighed, trying to not react so it would stop. It kept kicking, though, so I became very annoyed. I looked over again to see the child's parent/guardian sleeping. That explained the lack of reaction to their child kicking my chair. And that also gave me the chance to cuss at it.

"Stop kicking my goddamn chair!" I whisper yelled at the child.

"Fuck off!" Reminder, this child was like five years old. Kids these days shaking my head 🙄🙄🙄🙄

"If you kick my seat one more time, I will wake them." I pointed at it's guardian.

It started crying for some reason and it's guardian woke up, so I immediately turned around to pretend like nothing happened.

"What happened, sweetie?" It's guardian asked it. It better not snitch on me or it's going off this plane. The child was pretty small, so I definitely could throw it o-

"The man hurt my hand!" It yelled before I could finish my train of thought. Fucking what?! I did not!

"Uh, excuse me, mister-" The guardian touched my shoulder and I turned around, keeping a straight face.

"Yes?" I asked her calmly.

"Did you hurt my child?" The guardian asked.

"Why would I hurt your kid?" I gave them a weirded out look, to make them seem as if they were in the wrong.

"My kid is crying, so.."

"Dude, I did not hurt your child. The child was kicking my chair and when I told it to stop it was crying out of nowhere!" I tried to keep calm, trying not to pop a vein.

"Show me your hand." The guardian demanded their child. The child didn't want to show it, so the guardian snatched it's hand and checked it.

"There's nothing on your hand! Do not kick people's chairs!" The guardian harshly whispered. I turned around and sighed in relief, thanking the universe that the guardian wasn't too much of a Karen. Either way, I probably just ruined another child's trust bond with their parents.

Unfortunately, this whole situation had only taken up about ten minutes, so there was still quite a while until I got to my destination. I just looked through the window and unpaused the interrupted queen Nicki Minaj.

***

I might make an update schedule, but for now I'll try to update at least once a week. Don't worry, this is just a few "filler" chapters before we get into the plot, so don't mind the weird ass shit. Thank you to all the people reading my story! :) Hope you're having a great day!