One direction BSM preferences

10# Your suicidal

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt and self-harm. If you are experiencing this, I know how you feel. And this is so hard to write about because it is a bit private and personal.

Liam (Age 15): Your POV: I was sitting in my room, thinking if I should do it. I have a loving family, but Liam got famous, and well, you know. But I got a ton of hate and no one liked me at school. But Liam is helping me through it. And now, the fame got to him. And never had time for me. Just do it, cut yourself to death.  I thought to myself. I was about to when I heard the door open. "Y/N, what are you doing??" Liam asked. "Nothing." I said. He took the razor away from me. "Please don't ever do this to yourself again." Liam said. He kissed me and told me that we had a new plan. Now, I can't spend any time together. He is watching me and so is everyone else.

Louis (Age 15): Your POV: Everyone bullies me and I can't take it anymore. No one likes me at home and school. Well, not everyone. Louis and Lottie love me to bits and I love all my siblings but they bully me as well. They bully me because of my looks and don't even care about me. And since mom is gone (RIP Jay, you will never leave us). So, Louis took me in his custody. He is very kind but doesn't take the bullying away from me. I have depression and anxiety, so it isn't easy. I am in my room all the time. I self harm myself and have suicidal thoughts. "Oh, Y/N, you are so ugly." One of my main bullies, Annie would say. I always cry in my room. Today is the day I am going to commit you know what. "Why am I the worst." I said while I was burning myself. "I didn't do anything wrong. I have burns and cuts and bruises all over myself.

It was Monday traffic and I thought it was a good time to commit suicide. So, I went outside. And while I was about to go into the traffic, I feel a pair of arms around mine. "Y/N, what were you doing?" He asked. I explained everything. "And I am just the worst sibling." I said. He gave me a hug. "No you're not. And I'll talk to everyone and we will homeschool you. And you will not harm yourself again." He told me. After that day, he took me to the doctor and got me medicine. "Okay, Lottie and I will be watching you a lot." He said. We made a list of things to do and I agree with it. I sleep with Louis. (Don't be dirty).

Harry: (Age 16): Your POV: I am bullied all the time. No one likes me and I am alone. And I get hate a lot since Harry got famous. Mom and dad got divorced when I was 4 and I don't remember it well. Harry and I aren't close, and I am still on tour with him. (To his request so we can get closer). And I have a bit of a crush on Louis. He is just so nice and kind. And a bit loud too. Niall is my best friend and we like to play games. I have suicidal thoughts and no one knows. And I self harm too. But no one knows about that. I went to my bedroom window and opened it. (It was in the room in a hotel). I almost jumped out of it. And my arm was showing too.

"Y/N, do you know where my- what are you doing?" Harry asked. He looked at my scars and where I was positioned. "Oh my god, please don't jump." He said, calmly. I don't know why. "Harry, can you please leave. We aren't close, remember?" I asked. "I know you self harm. I have known it for months. That is why I made you come on tour." He said. He placed an arm in front of me. I took it. "Now, you will be safe with us." He said. "All of us." An Irish voice said.

Niall (Age 14): Your POV: My twin is the worst. And she is bullying me a lot. Greg and Niall takes her side all the time. They believe her all the time. "Y/N, you are so ugly. Why do you even live?" She asked me. "Yeah." Niall would say. "Why are you like that?" Well, they don't care about me. Obviously. And Greg just takes Niall's side all the time. I am a bit underweight but no one cares. "Well, you guys don't care about me." I said. I went to my room and decided to commit suicide. Why do I even live? I just make everything worse. "Goodbye Niall, Greg, and Jay (Or whatever name, I can't help but using my friend's name). Don't miss me." I said to them. "Okay." Niall said.

Niall POV:

Then she left. But then I realized what she meant. "Uhm, Greg." I said. "What?" He asked. "Do you know what Y/N said?" I asked. Then we went upstairs. "Oh no." I said, seeing a lot of pills. I took her to the hospital straight away.

42 days later

"Why am I not dead?" I asked. "Thank goodness your awake." Niall said. "What?" I asked. "You were in a coma for over a month." Greg said. I was confused. Then they told me that they were sorry.

Zayn (Age 17): Your POV: I am always sad. And no one has helped me. My sisters are always busy and Zayn doesn't care. And I have no one. I am always on the bus alone. And it is always a long bus ride. (Same, I have to go to 3 cities just to go to school). And I am of, well you know ancestery. Zayn doesn't know that I am sad since he doesn't care. We aren't close. Then one day, I started to have suicidal thoughts. But I couldn't do it because I am busy with video games. But then one day I had enough. I tried to do it. But then Zayn saved me. "Y/N, why are you feeling that way? I love you so much." He asked me. "You do? I thought you didn't care about me." I said.

He hugged me and I cried. Like a baby. "I do care about you. And I am so sorry that you don't think I don't." He said. After that, he made sure that I know he loved me and cares about me. And we are now best friends and he helps me with homework. And we sing Viva la vida and analyze how it is about the French Revolution for my homework. (I am not gonna explain that)