Our little secret | Jev

10. Underlying

Lev's pov

I sighed, running a hand anxiously through my hair. After the events of the morning, Jentzen had been avoiding me non-stop. Hours had passed with me trying to get a chance to talk to him alone, but between filming and never being able to find him I hadn't had a chance.

We had just finished filming Piper's last video, being some time in the evening, it was already slowly growing dark outside. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him walking up the stairs, Elliana trying to follow behind him. "Ellie, please, just give me one minute of peace" he protested, leaving her at the bottom of the stairs.

She folded her arms in annoyance, strutting off in her 6 inch heels. I waited till Jentzen was almost at the top of the stairs then rushed over to see which room he was about to enter. He walked in to Piper's, which I knew was empty as piper and the rest of the girls were in the garden getting ready to drive to Starbucks with Hunter.

I quietly climbed up the stairs, taking a deep breath as I stood outside Piper's door. I knew I was going to hate myself for what I was about to do, but I would hate myself more if I went on allowing myself to hurt Jentzen. Better to rip the bandaid off quickly, even if I end up ripping my heart to shreds along with it. No matter what, I've got to convince him I have no feelings for him. I've got to stay strong so that I can protect him from pain.

I slowly reached out and opened the door, poking my head around. Jentzen was sitting on Piper's bed with his head hung low, not even noticing my presence. I cleared my throat, immediately grabbing his attention as his head shot up. "Go away" he ordered, furrowing his brows together. I shook my head no.

"Please, we need to talk" I urged, walking in and locking the door behind me. He huffed angrily, folding his arms and refusing to face me. "Well what if I don't wanna hear it Lev, huh? Ever think about that?!" He stated sassily. Even when he was angry at me, I couldn't help but find it endearing how much character he had.

"I wanted to talk about... us. And about last night." I admitted honestly. I bit my bottom lip anxiously, my eyes looking over his face to see his reaction. He glared at me. "Oh, so now there's an 'us'? Cause the way you were acting earlier I was sure there was no one you'd less rather be around" he retorted, rolling his eyes.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, but... I have to say... I think we're both confused. You think you know what you want, but you don't. You're just confused, we spend a lot of time together, anyone could easily start to misinterpret platonic feelings of friendship for-"

I got cut off my rant by the sound of Jentzen laughing, although it was a bitter, hurt laugh. "Are you serious right now? You've come here to tell me that I'm confused? You think you know how I feel better than I do? I'm not confused, Lev. I know what I want - and it's you."

His words caught me off guard, and for a second I almost let my self melt in to them - to fall into them completely, but then I remembered to stick to my plan. These lies hurt even just falling from my lips.

"We can't be more than friends, Jentzen. You know that, I know that. Last night was a mistake, I shouldn't have said anything that I truly didn't mean." My heart shattered at my own words as I saw the way it pierced through Jentzen's heart. 'Words I truly didn't mean'... when in reality, I couldn't have meant them more.

"What, so you just get to make me feel like the most loved, cared for person out there and then switch it off and tell me none of it meant anything? You get to make me fall in love and then judge me when I grow to care for you? You get to do things that you know overstep the line of what just friends do and then look at me like I'm ridiculous when I inevitably catch feelings?!" Jentzen yelled, standing up from the bed.