Our little secret | Jev

15. New ways of living

Lev's POV

"Lev... Lev...Lev!" I heard like a distant call in the darkness. I could vaguely feel something shaking my arm. Suddenly my eyes shot open and I was aware of my surroundings as I slowly began to wake up. I was in my bed, my mother standing over me trying to wake me up.

"Mom?" I called out sleepily, rubbing my eyes as I sat up in my bed. My room was dimly lit, yet I could still see that her eyes were red as if she had been crying. "Is everything alright?" I questioned in Russian, suddenly growing worried. She let out a long sigh.

"Lev, we need to go to Russia. It's your older brother, he was in an accident. I need to take care of him for at least a few weeks while he recovers. I am so sorry" she explained sadly. I shook my head in disbelief. "Is he ok?!" I asked frantically. She gave a half smile. "He will be soon, don't worry. They say he will definitely recover soon."

I let out a heavy sigh of relief, however as soon as I'd been able to put my mind at ease I felt another issue pulling on my heart strings. Does that mean I'd have to leave Jentzen behind and not see him for who knows how long? Would he be ok without me?

Jentzen's living situation was a little off. He lived only with his sister, his father being in Texas and his mother not allowed to see him. He and his sister loved each other very much but that didn't stop him from feeling lonely from time to time as he'd admitted to me in some of our late night conversations.

"Mom, I can't leave" I blurted out, speaking before thinking. "Yes, Lev, I know you don't want to leave behind the squad and stop your YouTube for who knows how long" she pointed out. If only she knew that wasn't the exact real reason... but for now I'll let her believe it is.

"I can stay here, mom. And I know what you'll say - that you feel like you're abandoning me here all alone or that you're leaving me behind, but you're really not. I need to be here. This is where I belong," I argued. "I belong here with Jentzen" I thought quietly to myself.

She paused for a second, blankly looking at one of the walls in my room. "I knew you would say this, and I've already thought it through. Since it's only been the two of us for a long time you learnt how to do everything for yourself - cook, clean, and even take care of me sometimes" she began.

"I know you're 16 now and it won't be long until you're truly living on your own. I still can't shake the feeling that I'm leaving you here all alone but I know you would be unhappier if I took you with me. So... I'll let you stay" she agreed, looking back at me. A smile began to form on my face as I wrapped my arms around her to embrace her in a hug. "Thank you so much mom!"

"But on one condition!" She warned. "I want you to text me every day and let me know that everything is ok, you promise?" She threatened. I nodded my head frantically to show her I would stick to my word. "And, Lev, I know you wouldn't want to admit it, but if you ever do feel lonely... please go and stay with Jentzen" she finished quietly, her voice softer now.

Her words took me by surprise, at first causing an almost fear that she knew something she wasn't supposed to, but then I realized it was simpler than I thought. I'm her son, she can see right through me. Although she may not know in which way exactly it is, she can see how important Jentzen is to me and how much safety and comfort he brings in to my life.

I shrugged, tilting my head to the side with a smile. "Don't worry mom, there's no way I could ever feel lonely. You know that boy doesn't leave me alone for a single minute as it is" I joked, causing the both of us to laugh. She reached out a hand and began to ruffle my hair.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way. Your smile is twice as bright when he's around."