Our little secret | Jev

11. New to us

Lev's pov

It was the day after Jentzen and I's talk in Piper's bedroom. After the fight, we made up, and after we made up, we had a long talk which was much needed. We discussed how we'd go about things, knowing no matter what we'd sadly have to keep up the false image of our current relationships with our girlfriends - no matter what, no one can know the truth otherwise it would all be over between us before it even had the chance to begin. 

We would only allow to be ourselves where there were no cameras and no people, so we decided no excessive affection in public apart from the usual casual flirting we were so used to doing in the squad videos - the only difference would be that what once would've been just a joke to everyone was now much more serious to us. 

All the sarcastic "you're cute" and "I love you" remarks we once made in a joking manner now had so much more depth to one another, even if the viewers would never know the difference. The only thing we had failed to discuss in our conversation last night is what exactly we were - were we dating, friends with benefits, or just two people who liked each other and were trying to figure things out? Was it ok for me to ask so soon? 

It was a fresh new day, only being the early morning. The whole squad had all gathered at Piper's house for a full day of filming. From across the room, sitting at the kitchen counter, I could tell Jentzen was tired from the long night before. He was resting his elbow on the counter, his chin placed in his palm, however he had a large smile spread across his face as he looked off into the distance, clearly lost in his thoughts. 

I smiled as I walked across the room, sliding into the empty seat next to him. "Hey' I whispered quietly into his ear. He turned to face me, returning my smile. My lips twisted into a smirk as I leaned back toward his ear, my hot breath tingling on his neck as I spoke. "I had to come over, it was torture seeing you over here looking so cute without even knowing it" I mumbled. 

His eyes shot open nervously at my words as his face started to heat to a dark shade of red. I chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair to try and distract himself from what I had just said. "You shouldn't do that Lev" he protested, speaking quietly so that no one around us would hear - although it was only two or three people in the room and they were all wrapped up in their own conversation. 

"Do what?" I asked innocently, trying not to laugh. Jentzen tilted his head as he looked at me with eyes that told me 'you know what you're doing'. "You shouldn't make me blush like that in front of everyone and let them see the effect your words have on me" he retorted, rolling his eyes playfully. Now it was my turn to blush, which caused Jentzen to laugh at me as he noticed the change of colour in my cheeks. 

"Not so tough are we now, huh?" Jentzen teases I turned my face away from him in embarrassment. A short moment of silence passed between us, and when my cheeks had stopped testing up I looked back towards him to. notice he was looking around the room nervously. 

"Hey, you ok?" I asked, directing his attention towards me. He opened his mouth to respond, yet said nothing. He seemed to be tossing a question around in his mind, working up the courage to voice it out loud, or perhaps wondering if he should even ask it at all. 

"is it ok if I..." he began to ask, slowly moving his hand across the countertop towards mine. "is it ok for me to do this with you?" He finished, grabbing my hand and pulling it under the counter in his, out of everyone's view. I knew now that he too had been nervous about the thought of what exactly we were to one another, and what was ok for us to do. 

My heart began racing, even though I was unsure if it was the fact that we could get caught at any second or if it was because Jentzen's warm fingers were interlaced with mine. A soft smile spread across my lips. "You don't have to ask to hold my hand... never ask if you can hold my hand. Only ever ask if you can let go, because the answer will always be no."