Chapter XXXIII: The Serendipity

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"Oh my god, I so told you so," I yell over the din at Nicolas. He rolls his eyes at me as if to say 'so what' before jumping into action.

Luckily we weren't too outnumbered by the Yakuza, but it was close. Plus they had the element of surprise, which I'd say was working in their favor considering that all of the computer nerds seemed frozen in fear.

Nicolas starts barking orders and complete chaos reigns. Asian dudes with biceps bigger than my thighs (and that's saying something, trust me) are wrestling with computer geeks half their size. There's a gunshot every few seconds, but Nicolas appears unfazed.

Suddenly a calm Arnold appears at my elbow and hands me a Taser labeled "Emergency Taser."

"Nicolas told me to give this to you," he informs me, before attempting to gently guide me out of the ballroom by my elbow. Unfortunately for him, my legs seem glued to the floor as I watch a computer geek get his glasses crushed, his nose broken, and his neck cracked. Man, I didn't like those guys but that doesn't mean that I want to see them dead!

"Oh my god Arnold, they are killing them!" I screech.

"Yeah, they tend to do that." Arnold looks unconcerned and maybe even a little bit disgruntled as if he is personally responsible for cleaning up the blood and bodies after every fight.

"Are you not even a little bit concerned for your friends?" Color me surprised, I thought he would have a weaker constitution considering he looks like a sentient piece of overcooked pasta.

"Meh," Arnold says while shrugging his shoulders. "After it happens the first few times, you find yourself getting used to it." He stares off into the distance as if experiencing a particularly delightful flashback. "I even miss it sometimes."

"This has happened before?!"

"Oh yeah, plenty of times. I've always managed to survive, how else do you think I got this fun name tag?" Arnold gestures to his bedazzled nametag, which now looks infinitely more cool and impressive than it did when I first saw it.

Just then a bullet ricochets above our heads and both Arnold and I duck. Chips of marble and dust rain down around our heads as a fresh dose of adrenaline courses through my veins. God, I am so going to strangle Nicolas for not fucking listening to me.

"Arnold, my main man, not to diss your Taser or anything, but what makes you think that your labeled electroshock weapon is going to do literally any good against everyone else's lethal weapons," I grit through my teeth.

Arnold slumps against the marble ballroom wall and sighs. "You know, usually I just rely on the goon laughing at me until I hit him with the Taser. It usually works out, I'm sure you will be fine."

The din in the ballroom seems to increase until it is at a fever pitch. Bullets are spraying everywhere and, from my convenient view near the floor, I can see the thick layer of bodies that seem to be making a carpet on the ballroom floor. You know the first thing I said to Nicolas when I saw this place was that it needed a remodel, but I'm not sure that this is the one that I had in mind.

I look up at the roof of the ballroom and notice that the Yakuza snipers have made their way up to the upper ballroom layer and are killing Russian Mafia men one at a time. Hmm, maybe that's why the bullets flying around this overpriced dancing hall seem to be more numerous and deadly than before.

I catch the eye of one of the men on the upper story and he smirks as he takes aim at me. God is this how it ends? I mean, to be fair, it is a more glamorous end than throwing myself off of a cliff, but not by much. At least this time I'm not going to die a virgin which, in my opinion, is very much an upgrade. I close my eyes, cross my chest, and send up a quick prayer to the God above (if there even is one). Luckily this time I have done my research and at least know the Hail Mary.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Nov 01, 2021 ⏰

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