Mr. Mafia Man

Chapter III: The Roommate

"Hey Tiffany." I say walking into my living room. I'm not surprised that she is up this late as she tends to have an sporadic sleep schedule, kind of like my mom. I wouldn't say that we were quite friends, because I barely knew her when I moved in, and our waking hours didn't sync up that much, due to her previously mentioned sporadic sleeping schedule, but rent is low, the apartment is nice, and she doesn't question my weird trains of thought. 

The conversations we do have are somewhat odd though, even for me, and that's why I prefer that we don't talk most of the time. In face, we talk so little, I'm not even sure what she does for a living, just that she'll pay most of the rent if, when the police or the FBI come by, I'm to cover and say she's not home. Weird, but I'm dead-ass broke so unless the cops are willing to cover a good portion of my rent every month, they aren't hearing a single fucking peep outta me.

"Hey" Tiffany responds. She is currently sitting in the middle of a chalk circle in our living room, holding a candle. Her eyes are closed and there is a book out in front of her. I plunk my keys in the bowl next to the door and swing my purse on to our couch before promptly heading into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal.

"Long night?" I hear from the living room.

"Why do you ask?" I say as I walk back into the living room to a still criss-cross and closed-eyes Tiffany.

"Because you are eating Cap'n Crunch. If the night had gone well that would be a bowl of Lucky Charms in your hand." Oh yeah, another reason why Tiffany made my uncomfortable; she was oddly perceptive.

Sighing, I launched myself into the couch crease. After digging in the couch for the remote (FYI, it was next to a baseball and under a pair of underpants, which I was pretty sure were neither mine or Tiffany's), I flipped through several channels before settling on one that was playing reruns of Friends.

There's a dip in the couch while I try to get invested my programming. "Pokemon is playing on Disney XD." She says. When I turn to to look at her, she is staring at the TV like I was not seconds ago. Scowling, I flip to Pokemon and pull my knees as close to my chest as I possibly can with my cereal bowl cradled in my arms. I angrily scoop up a spoonful of cereal and crunch on it, upset that she knows what type of programing I was wanting to watch.

"Oh, don't be like that. You have a Pokemon lunch case for goodness sake. What else am I supposed to take from that?"

"You're supposed to take from that the fact that I am a responsible adult because I went with that lunch box over the other ones because it was on sale." I counter, still cronching on my Cap'n Crunch.

Tiffany rolls her eyes. "Please, you rushed out of the house as soon as you saw it was on sale. You were monitoring that thing for weeks, and when I asked you where you were going as you flew out of the house, I distinctly remember you responding 'To go get my Pokemon lunch box, bitches!'"

"To be fair, it is a pretty cool lunch box." I mumbled into my cereal milk.

"Was. Was a pretty cool lunch box, because you left it in the street when you went to go chase a squirrel and it got ran over."

"I still use it though. Charmander only has a few tire skid marks on his face and Pikachu has less than seven pieces of gravel embedded in him. I just fucking like Pokemon okay?"

Tiffany gives me a pointed look because she knows she won. Like always. Tiffany: 114. Yours Truly: 0.

I give a huff and launch myself out of the couch crease. She might have won this one but I put the remote on the TV stand rather than the coffee table, so if she wants to change the channel or lower the volume she will have to get up to get it. That will show her.

After putting the cereal bowl and spoon in the kitchen sink I fell asleep face down in my bed. My last waking thought was wondering if I would ever see Gun Guy ever again. My second to last waking thought was if Tiffany would ever stop being a bitch.

And then I was dead to the world.

Word Count: 781

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Okay, I get it, low word count, blah, blah, blah. TBH it doesn't really matter on this one as it was just a filler chapter of sorts. What I was attempting to do with this chapter was showcase the dynamic of Tiffany and Our Goddess Evelyn. She certainly is a mystery, that Tiffany. 

Another reason why this chapter is so short is because the next chapter is set to be much longer. Like 1500+ words longer. It should be up next Friday (I upload on Fridays) so keep an eye out for that.

-3AMmayhem