Lullabies of the Tranquil Sky

37

37

I.

i know i'm special and unique.
i know i'm a beautiful creature.
i know i'm the best among the
rest. i know i deserve happiness.
i know i'm worthier than one big
coffer of golds and diamonds. i
know my family and friends love
me. i know i can achieve my goals
if i keep going and keep believing.
but sometimes everything i know
vanish when i'm stuck in a situation
that no matter how hard i applied
what i know i always ended hating,
belittling, and consider myself as a
useless trash that should be decayed.
i love myself, but sometimes i hate
her for forgetting everything i know.

II.

as the sun rises in the sky, i woke
up with a heavy heart without valid
reasons as if the heaviest stone and
baggages of the world are living inside
my soul. every melancholic night i just
found myself crying endlessly with a
tears like a rain amidst the strong storm.
i don't know why but i always feel a pang
of pain, sadness and agony in every
expanse of my flesh. everyday it feels
like i'm living like a corpse. i'm lost
and feeling empty with a messed up
thoughts in my mind and a shattered
heart because of an anonymous source.
i'm feeling these different feelings and
emotions and i even don't know why,
but i know for sure how much myself
badly want to end these nightmares.

III.

if i could only embrace the moon
by my shivering arms, for sure the
heavy burdens in my heart were
replaced by a soft cottons and
cloud of feathers now. if i could
only bury my fears in the deepest
and hidden abyss of the world, for
sure i wouldn't be in great tears.
if i could only live in an abandoned
forest eternally, for sure my soul
will be filled with peace and
happiness. if i could only vanish
without creating a sin like what
you always wanted, for sure
all of you will be so happy.

-Skieslany