Behind the Closed Doors - KSIMON

02-Please.

EDITED✅
SIMON's POV-

JJ was sat with his girlfriend. Ellie. God how much I hate her but can't ever tell her that or make it obvious. "Jide, can I have a sec please?", i ask and he rolls his eyes. "Whatever you wanna say you can say it in front of her", he says not even looking at me. Why's he being such a dickhead.

"It's important", i say but he still doesn't seem to care. "What's important is spending as much time with my girl before she goes to her family home because of Covid. So, SPIT IT OUT", he grows louder which pisses me off.

I roll my eyes and I sigh. "Fine. Tobi's dad is dying", i spit before turning away and going back to the room I'm staying in. I don't fail to slam the door and lock it. Fuck him. Absolute cunt.

I hear the door handle jiggle and then banging on the door. "SIMON", JJ shouts but I simply ignore. He didn't care before why the fuck does he care now. Maybe because his stupid girlfriends went home. Good. Silly bitch.

JJ continues to brutally kill my door so I sigh and open it. "WHAT?!", i shout and he seems stunned. "Who the fuck are you talking to like that?", he asks pulling a face and I just roll my eyes. "What do you want?", i question and he seems to have forgot why the fuck he was here. I scoff and close the door.

It doesn't take him long to open it and come in. "How's Tobi's dad dying?", he asks. "Covid", i answer simply. "Is Tobi ok?", he asks. "Yup", i ask scrolling through shows to binge.

"Are you mad at me?", he asks sitting at the bottom of my bed. "Nope". I don't look at him. I need the feelings to go away and the only way they will go is if I force them out. This is the only way.

"Look at me", he says more like commands but I don't. I press play on Orange is the new black. "Oh I love this show", he says in a fake excited voice. He goes to sit next to me but I look at him and he stops.

"Simon?", he asks confused and I look away. "Leave", i say and he stands there stunned apparently because he still hasn't left. "Please", I whisper lightly closing my eyes. I hear his footsteps and then the door close lightly. I sigh and throw my head back. Not opening my eyes, just enjoying the quiet. 

I open them and nearly shit my self when he's still there. Stood at the door. Looking all sad. I sigh, getting in the covers and turning away from him. I hug my hoodie and try and get warm which was hopeless. Im skinny, have no meat on my bones so there's nothing to warm up.

"Do you want the heating on?", JJ asks after watching me shiver repulsively for the last few minutes. "It's fine", i don't want to cost him anymore than I already do. He sighs and I then feel the bed dip.

I spin around and see JJ centimetres away from me. "What are you doing?", i ask and he stays quiet. That's a first. He turns me around and lays me down before kicking off his shoes and getting in too.

He pulls the covers over us but doesn't touch me. Which makes me weirdly sad, I mean who would even want to touch me. I'm skinny, ugly, shit personality.

I sniffles as I feel my nose running and my eyes pouring. JJ was close and I could hear his breath sounds were relaxed meaning he went straight to sleep which I don't blame him, he gets up at 5 am to train and it was currently like 10pm.

"Please don't cry Si", JJ whispers and I let out a choked sob shocked he was awake. I get out the bed and go to the bathroom. I lift the lid of the toilet and throw up.

I sigh and try keep whatever's in my stomach down. I can't remember the last thing I ate. I feel a hand on my back and I instantly get the feeling I can breath again. I take breaths in and out deeply for about five minutes before flushing the toilet and getting to the sink to brush my teeth.

I don't look up to see my self because I know I'll be disgusted at by what I've let my self become. "Look at me", JJ says loudly and I flinch. "No".

I turn to leave the bathroom but he stops me. "You need to stop this Simon", he says in a pleading tone. I say nothing. I know I'm getting worse again but I don't want to do anything about it. There's no point. I always end up back at square one.

"Please? Simon look at me", I look up at him and he sucks a breath in.
(A/N JJ IS SLIGHTLY TALLER THAN SIMON IN THIS SO FOR FUTURE REFERENCE)

"Please let me help you", he begs and I sigh. He can't help me. "I know you think your done, and there's nothing beyond this but I need you more than you'll ever know. Please let me help you get better", he begs and I shake my head sighing.

We were silent for a moments before JJ gets on his knees. "Wha-What are you doing", i ask looking at him as if he's crazy. "Please Simon I'm begging you. Let me help you Simon. Please please please", he begs and I fall down to the same level as him.

I break down and lean on his chest. "Okay", I whisper and he instantly wraps his arms around me. I hug him back and close my eyes.