Love for Rent

x Kiss x

Everything fell to silence once Shahzaib finished talking. With teary eyes and emotional confession from him, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel or react. Years ago, when he returned home from school with his younger brother, he found his father with his second wife and son. There were so many things he didn't know about. He was often away from home, busy being a kid and playing outside, so he never paid attention to his mother. He had no idea his father was having a marital affair and was horrible to her behind the doors. One day, he fought with his father and went to stay with his grandmother. A few days later, he found out his mother got hurt when she was pushed down the stairs and got hurt badly. He brought his mother and brother to his grandmother's house, but his father continued to make their lives miserable, especially when her mother finally filed a complaint and took him to court for domestic abuse. The court case went on for years, but nothing came out since his father had connections with big names. His father showed his power through his wealth, which was the only thing that mattered to him. He married his mother for money, and after he got what he wanted, he became abusive and started controlling her.

Shahzaib only tried to make himself strong enough to face his father, but he made friends with people he shouldn't have as he grew up. Shahzaib got involved in a drug case right when he was in college, he was engaged with his friend at that time, but she left him when he got arrested. She didn't believe him. He spent six months in jail, and that's when his father came to visit him. Not to help him get out but to tell him he deserved him. He never considered him a son and told him he would be left alone because he was trash, just like his mother. His bitter words stayed with him for years. After getting out of jail, he decided not to continue with college. Instead, he worked day and night tirelessly and finally became financially stable and successful but his mother still died as an unhappy woman. She could never understand why her husband didn't love her. But he knew one day he would get the share of his mother's money back from his father. His father knew he wouldn't marry because he didn't see a good marriage growing up, so in his will, he added his condition not because he wanted to see him settle but to show the world he cared for him. When his father was ill, he called everyone to his home but never called him. He didn't show up at his mother's funeral too.

'I...,' I murmured as my voice cracked. The ice cream was running down my hands as well as his. We were both a mess. I threw away the melted ice cream and cleaned my hands, and grabbed his hands to clean. He watched me closely, and I met his eyes.

'Your father was wrong,' I managed to say as I took out another tissue paper to wipe his face.  I was about o move away when he pulled me towards him and hugged me tightly.

'She kept waiting for him. She lost herself because of him' His voice broke as he to fight off his anger towards his father. 

'I wish I was good at this, but I have never comforted anyone besides my Ma so I don't know what to say to make you believe that I hear you and you will be okay...I am so sorry this happened to you' I pulled back slightly and took his face in my hands, and his eyes opened suddenly, and I realized I was too close to him.

'Sorry,' I moved away immediately to add space between us.

'You are lucky you had a family, your father died loving you, not leaving you...you have a mother who loves you' He said to me without knowing anything about me, I wish I could tell him that how hard it was to keep my feelings from reach the surface. Every single word of his word was hurting me. He had no idea who I was either, but I wasn't going to tell him anything. I wasn't going to say to him that I was a bastard's child. My past was mine only. I wasn't going to bring it in on my present.

'Not everything was simple, but yes, I do have a mother who loves me, and your's did too...love is love even if it is crooked or different, for her it might have been her devotion to your father...waiting for things to get better...she did her best, just pray that wherever she is, she is at peace' I took long breaths, struggling to stay tough when everything around me was getting emotional. Were all marriages like this? Do you completely open yourself to someone without any fear? No fear of judgment? I could never understand the norms of society? Why did people put so much importance on staying married even when things fell apart? Why couldn't his mother recover from a broken heart? Why did she let herself go? Weren't his kids enough for her to try and fight a little longer? Why did unhappy people have kids in the first place? Shahzaib and I had different experiences but our view towards marriage came from our parents. If our parents were like this then where did it leave us?