Love for Rent

x Sorry, Not Sorry x

'I am so sorry,' I apologized to everyone at the dinner table when I served them almost burned fried rice. I cooked little, but this was one of the few dishes I was actually good at, and this was my first time cooking for everyone, and I messed up. This all happened because of Shahzaib. If he hadn't kissed me, then this wouldn't have happened. I was so baffled that I could hardly look at him. I felt awful for Saif because I told him I'd make him this dish because he also liked it. Now the poor kid was eating my poorly cooked dinner, or at least trying to.

'This is fine. Honestly, we were used to it because Yusaf sometimes has happy accidents like this too... but I have seen you in the kitchen. How did this happen?' Kanwal asked me and was quick to cover for me. She actually came home with some food that her friend packed for her, so we had options. I looked at Shahzaib and saw him only eating my food. Why was he doing this?

'Don't eat this, here' I passed him another dish.

'I am fine, I am almost full anyway, I'll eat this later' He politely refused and continued to eat the dish I made, and so did everyone else.

'Why are you eating this if it's bad?' I couldn't help but ask everyone.

'You made this, and it's just slightly overcooked. It's still good. Waste of food is not good,' Shahzaib's grandmother replied nicely, and I relaxed, but my appetite was gone, this family was good to me, Shahzaib was behaving strangely. Actually, we both were, and most importantly, the way I saw Shahzaib was changing, which was not good for me. We were not following the rules. I had to talk to him to remind him about what we decided. I was becoming too involved, and reel and real were starting to merge.

'I have a headache, is it okay if I go to my room? I will eat later' I looked at Aunty, and she asked me if I was okay.

'Yes, just...it's been a long day,' I told her, and Kanwal gave me a questioning glare wondering if everything was good between Shahzaib and me. I nodded to assure her everything was fine and left the table. I locked the door from inside to give myself some alone time. My single life with Ma was less hectic. Yes, we had a problem, but we shared those problems together, but my concerns about Shahzaib and his family were mine, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. No one knew about it but us. I was about to call Jaan to discuss this, but what was I going to say to him when even I didn't know what the main problem was. I couldn't just call him to complain about how Shahzaib kissed me and how nice his family was.

'Seher' I heard Kanwal's voice from outside, and I opened the door and saw her with a tray carrying two cups of tea and a plate of cookies.

'I just thought you might want to talk...I can go back,' She started.

'No, please come in' I invited her in and closed the door again. We sat on the bed to talk.

'I just wanted to check if everything is okay? Nani told me what happened...thank you for helping her. She usually doesn't like asking for help and prefers to do things by herself,' She said.

'It's fine, things happen ...I wish she would stop feeling bad about asking for help...we all need help,' I told her, wondering if she was here to talk about this or something else.

'I know, some people are like that, even I was like that, but Yusaf changed that. I used to think I could handle everything, but sometimes you can't, and that's why finding someone you can rely on is so important. That's why you coming into Shahzaib's life is so important. You know I actually wanted to talk to you about Shahzaib. Is everything okay between you two? I noticed some tension during dinner' She brought it up.

'We had a little argument, but it's all good now' I replied in a light manner to not give it more attention, trying to make her believe that she didn't have anything to worry about.