Prologue

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Harry had gotten off work early that day. He was so excited to get home to her, to spend every second of his afternoon loving her, but when he arrived home she was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't unusual for her to not be home, afterall she was a very busy person. He quickly realised she probably had work to be done, so off to her office he went. It was only a short walk from their shared flat to her office building.
He found her there, chewing on the end of a pen as she typed away. He stood leaning on the doorway as he admired  her, she was perfect, everything he ever dreamed of, and she was all his, or so he really thought. 
“You know it's not nice to stare,” She chuckled, looking back at him rolling her eyes. Walking over to her, he placed a kiss on her head and squeezed her shoulder. This was it, this was forever. He knew it.
But every once in a while, forever doesn't last very long…

Harry stood in the damp grass watching as they lowered the casket into the ground. It was raining, and everyone who had half a brain was standing under umbrellas, but he stood there rain water running from his soaked curls down his cold cheeks. His whole body was numb. He heard commotion all around him, but he couldn't make out what anyone was saying. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore . His life had gone from everything to nothing in the span of less than a week. He had held his whole world in his hands, and then it was taken away, before he even had a chance to process it. Now he was lost, confused, and angry. He had followed her there, chasing her while she chased her dreams, and with her gone, he had no reason to stay. As much as he didnt want to leave this part of his life, he knew that he couldn't stay, his heart couldn't take being there without her, without his love. 
The same night of the funeral he packed all his things, making arrangements for them to be sent home. He stood in the door of the apartment he once shared with her, a place with so many memories, now riddled by a plague. He closed the door, silently saying goodbye, and leaving it all behind. He had to move on, it's what she would have wanted. 
~week 1 ~
Harry had moved back to London, back in with his parents. His mum, bless her heart, was constantly on his case, Making sure he ate, drank water, and was taking care of himself. He was still broken, everyone could see that, but no one could possibly begin to understand the way he felt. No one knew the things he did, the resentment he felt towards the girl he had once seen his whole future with. 
As hard as he tried, he couldn't bring himself to talk about what had happened, the aching he felt in his heart, he didn't want anyone to know the truth. It was just too hard, for him to think about, for him to accept. 
"Harry, darling, I made dinner," his mum said as she peeked her head into his childhood room. 
"Thanks, be down in a bit," he sighed, shutting the laptop that sat on his bed.
"You want to talk darling?" She wondered, she could see how broken her son was and it was killing her. 
"I'm alright mum, no point on dwelling in the past," he told her as he got up and smiled, the best fake smile he could muster up. He didn't want her to worry about him, he didn't want to be her cause of stress and anxiety. So he did his best to pretend, pretend that it was all ok, pretend that he wasn't dying inside. 
~1 month.~ 
Being home was good for him, as he knew it would be. Things started to return to normal. Harry would spend time with his brothers, and he was planning on getting back into photography. Something he had given up, when he moved out of london. This was his home, and coming back made him see how much he missed it, how much he had regretted leaving. How much he had wished to return while gone, but he had been blinded by love. He still refused to talk about it, but it was getting easier for him to accept as the days went by, accept it wasn't his fault, accept that there was nothing he could have done to change things.
"Going out," Harry announced as he grabbed his bag, his mum noticing the camera hanging around his neck. 
"When will you be back, love?" She wondered.
"Few hours at most, just wanting to catch the sun setting," he kissed her on the cheek before heading out the door.
~3 months.~
Harry was mostly back to himself, he would spend nights at the pub with the boys and his days were spent focusing on his own career, or helping Tom with his. He had moved into his own place. He missed her,or the memory of who he had thought she was, but he was slowly finding who he was, and who he had given up to give her the world. Maybe first loves were not all butterflies and rainbows. Maybe, just maybe she wasn't it, even if she felt like it at the time. Of course he's always loved her and he always would, but maybe he would be able to move on one day, just not soon.  He knew to move on he needed to be able to talk about it, and he was slowly getting there as well, he just wasn't quite ready.
"Mate, are you ready to head out?" Tom asked as the night was coming to an end. 
"Yeah, yeah," Harry said, getting his stuff together. 
"Hey, I'm glad you're home," Tom told him, clasping his shoulder.
"Me to," Harry said with a genuine smile on his face. 
~6 months.~ 
Harry had landed a role as assistant director on a small film, it was the biggest thing of his career to date, and it was going to be the best thing for him. He was running late to his first day, with a cup of tea in one hand and a bag of stuff in the other he rounded a corner way too fast bumping into you. 
“Oh god! I'm so sorry, I'm late and I wasn't paying attention,” You rambled off, trying to pick Harry's things up off the ground, ignoring the tea spilled all over you. “Here you go,” you handed him his bag and glanced down at your drenched shirt, now ruined. 
“Please, don't apologize, I should have been paying attention,” Harry admitted, he felt a familiar feeling as he looked at you that he hadn't felt in some time.  
“Well, I now need to rush to find a new shirt before my first day at work. Again I am so incredibly sorry,” and with that you were gone, leaving Harry stunned, staring after you. You had an allure about you, something that had piqued Harry's interest, but faster than you appeared, you had disappeared.

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