Unofficial First Girlfriend

CHAPTER 18

I pushed the box of remembrances under the bed. It was funny how things that matter the most at one point in our lives now only belong in a box under the bed. No matter how many times I declutter the house, I couldn't bring myself to let go of those pieces of stuff. I knew I didn't necessarily need them anymore, but I needed them as a reminder of the good things that used to be.

Sabrina tied the plastic bag containing the bottoms that I never use anymore. She carried it outside the bedroom. It was time to give it away to others who need it more than I do.

I began hanging some of my clothes inside the closet while Sabrina carefully folded the ones I chose to toss away.

She made an organized pile on the floor, grouping it according to their colors, while my closet was filled. Although it was almost half empty now.

"Are you happy with your life?" she asked me out of the blue.

I sat on the bed and watched her. "What do you mean?"

"If you're happy about your current situation. I know you still haven't had your dream wedding. But you're living with the man you love, and you have a daughter. I always wanted to be a mother, and you are already one."

I smiled. It was a tricky question to answer. I wasn't always happy with this kind of setup. I wasn't happy that things didn't go according to plan. I just kind of went with the flow.

"Not really. Some things could've been better if I were more careful with my decisions. But also, I don't make decisions for myself alone. Not anymore. I have to consider Naiah too and what's best for her."

"Are you saying you're unhappy?"

I nodded.

"I always thought I was the least accomplished out of the four of us. Bryce works in a prestigious hospital and has a soon-to-be lawyer girlfriend, Nick lives in Europe, and you have a daughter and a business, and not to mention all three of you are in a long-term relationship, which I obviously don't have."

"That's the thing, Sab. It's not a basis for happiness. I think doing what you like is way better. Nick and I both admire you for that because you know what you're doing. Sure, being with the person you love matters too. And I can't speak for Bryce, but we're not sure he's absolutely happy with his current girlfriend."

"Maybe we really don't get everything we want," she muttered, standing up from the floor. "Or maybe we have to be content about everything we have at the moment."

I stood up from the bed and urged her to walk out of the room. "Or maybe, we must learn how to make better decisions."

I closed the door shut.

"Or maybe, some things are yet to happen. Do you think it's too late for some things to happen?"

"I don't know. It depends. But when it comes to you and Bryce, it looks like it. You won't do anything about it because he's in a relationship, and he's not the kind of guy who would cheat."

She sighed. "You're right."

"I know I'm not being a good influence with what I'm about to say. But I'm being realistic. I hope if Bryce still feels something, he will do something about it. And if you still feel that you love him, he deserves to know it."

She only stared at me in response. Her eyes flickered down to her wristwatch. "It's almost 11. I think you should start preparing our lunch."

"Yeah, yeah. I will."

We went down to the kitchen, and I started preparing the ingredients for our meal. The diner was still close and would still be for two or three days more.

I handed her a few cloves of garlic, a knife, and a chopping board. "You know what to do?"

She looked at me and grabbed the chopping board, and replied hesitantly, "Sure."

"Why do you and Bryce act like you two were never a thing?" I asked, taking out the marinated beef from the fridge.

"What do you mean?"

"You never acknowledge each other as exes."

"It was a short-term relationship, and we weren't too serious."

I shook my head and didn't reply.

After a few minutes of peeling and mincing the garlic, she already left the table and sat on Naiah's mini couch instead. She was busying herself on her phone.

"Oh my, God," she muttered.

"What is it?"

She stood up from the tiny couch and walked over to me. I put the frying pan on the stove before taking a peek at her phone.

It was a post from Lizzie announcing her engagement.

"Oh my, God," I repeated. "She's engaged."

"Why is everyone I know getting engaged, married, and, or pregnant?" she grunted before locking her phone. "I feel so left behind."

"Don't feel so bad. Some married couples are unhappy and wishing they have the freedom you have."

"I don't want this freedom. I want someone to suffocate me in a relationship," she joked.

I laughed before turning my back on her. I opened the stove and waited for the pan to heat up before pouring some cooking oil.

"When do you think the wedding is gonna be?"

"Before this year ends, according to her post."

"Wow."

For the next few minutes, I busied myself in preparing the fried rice, sunny-side-up, and beef tapa while Sabrina kept herself entertained with her phone.

She wanted to be in a relationship so bad, but she would get out of a date immediately when she didn't like a tiny detail about a guy's personality. She wanted to be in my position, yet here I was wishing I was in her shoe.

I was happy being a mother. I loved my daughter.

But sometimes, I wish I could be like Sabrina, so I could get out of a situation quickly, without thinking twice. But having Naiah with me makes it so difficult.

My phone pinged, snapping me back into reality.

Nick: Dude, so sorry I can't come today. I'll make it up to you. Promise.

Seriously? He's bailing on me?

Macey: Why? Sab's here waiting for you too.

Nick: Tell her I can't.

"Nick's not coming."

"Huh?" Sabrina asked, looking up from her phone. "Why?"

I shrugged, still waiting for an explanation from Nick.

Nick: I'll make it up to you and I promise I'm going to eat at your diner before I return to Paris. I just have to meet Shine today.

I felt disappointed and jealous at the same time. He agreed to come here today. In fact, he was the one who asked to set this day for the three of us and now he was the one who couldn't come here.

"Don't tell me it's Sunshine," she added.

"I'm not telling you anything."

It was one of the downsides of my complicated non-relationship with Nick. I wasn't a priority. Or at least, not always a priority.

And I couldn't demand anything from him.