Unofficial First Girlfriend

CHAPTER 29

"How are you holding up?" Sabrina whispered as she sat down beside me on the carpeted floor of her bedroom.

I had been sitting here for the last half hour, staring blankly and letting everything that had happened sink in on me. It had been a day since I split up with Clark, and earlier today he had returned to retrieve his other stuff. He wanted to know our plans for Naiah, but I still couldn't think clearly. All I knew was I would do everything to raise her, but I still got no plans regarding co-parenting.

"It turns out 90% of the stuff around the house belongs to me," I murmured.

Clark had left with all his belongings, and the house didn't even feel empty—it didn't feel like something was missing.

I hugged my knees closer to my chest and sighed. I had been living with him for over a year, but it just dawned on me that we, together, never felt like home. We were physically together, but our emotional attachments had long disappeared.

I had no idea when or how it had happened, but I was no longer in love with him.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell Naiah."

It was my biggest problem at the moment. How was I supposed to tell my daughter that her mom and dad are no longer together? It would break her heart. She might not comprehend the complexity of the situation yet.

"You'll figure it out," Sabrina replied.

I was going to start from scratch—to restart my life, but I didn't know where to begin. I knew I had to make sure Naiah would be fine as we go through changes, but it would still be a big challenge for me.

"How are you feeling right now?"

"I feel numb," I admitted.

I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad either. I guess I was just feeling lost. This wasn't how I imagined the future would be. But maybe, I had to create another plan for my life—one that would make me happy and that would make Naiah happy, too.

"But you believe you did the right thing, yes?" she asked.

I nodded. "I guess making the right decisions can make you feel emotionless sometimes. You know, when you do the right thing, you don't necessarily have to be happy. You just know you have to do it."

"You're going to be fine..." she whispered.

"Thanks, Sab."

All of a sudden, Nick's image popped into my mind. You're going to be fine. I can remember him saying those words before he left me a couple of days ago.

"Has Nick already left?" I asked.

Sabrina glanced at her watch and answered, "Probably still at home."

"You think?" I asked for confirmation and felt my hands shaking.

"Why?" she asked, the alarm was apparent in her voice. "Do you want to see him before he leaves?"

I was no longer in love with Clark. I probably had been for over a year already. Having him around the house never felt like home to me. But with Nick, it always felt like home when I was with him. I knew what I was going to do next was a stupid idea, but I felt like if I didn't do it at the moment, I would never have a chance.

"You had told me some people miss their chance in life, and I don't want to miss another chance."

"Okay, okay..." she mumbled and stood up from the floor.

She extended her hand and helped me get up. She rushed to her nightstand and grabbed her keys and phone.

"What am I going to do?" I asked.