Unofficial First Girlfriend

CHAPTER 26

It was another day of spending my day alone at home. Clark still hadn't come home, but he sent me a message earlier saying that he was in the office. That was a really stupid update, in my opinion. I wanted him to come home so we could talk. I didn't want to know if he was in the office or not. I was preparing myself for what would happen in the next few days. My gut was telling me I was right and it was time to do the right thing too. But I was still scared that I would be committing a huge mistake.

To help clear my head, I decided to do what I do best around the house: cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. I started decluttering Naiah's toys. I separated the old ones she rarely played with and put them in a carton box. I grabbed the packaging tape and sealed the box, labeling it with a black marker in big, capital letters 'TO DONATE'.

Call me weird, but cleaning around the house always felt therapeutic for me. I was already calmer after decluttering Naiah's toys. I proceeded with her old clothes and then with mine. I was aware that I had decluttered my closet recently but I felt like I could still let go of a few more pieces.

I was really getting into this whole decluttering thing so I pulled out my box of mementos. Maybe it was time to let go of the past too. I took out one of my old diaries from grade school.

Starting with this one.

I flipped through the pages and ripped them off one by one and threw them into a trash bag. I pulled out another diary—the one which was mostly about Nick.

It's time to let go. Nothing ever happened.

I flipped through the pages and read each entry, letting myself immerse in what I had written years ago. I couldn't help but smile and still feel giddy. It was always fun to look back at the past, but maybe I shouldn't be clinging to it too much.

It didn't happen, I could still hear Nick's voice. It was just yesterday, but it felt like it happened so long ago.

I flipped through the other pages and found one of the most precious yet painful entries I had ever written in my diary.

It was Nick's birthday.

I took a deep breath before ripping the page off and crumpling it. I almost jumped from surprise when someone knocked on the door. I threw my diary back inside the box in haste, and kicked the crumpled paper under the table and stood up from the floor.

I smoothened my t-shirt before opening the door.

"Nick," I uttered in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me a tiny smile and nodded. He was being his usual self in his all-black outfit with one hand jammed inside his hoodie's pocket, but I knew things weren't the same anymore.

It might never be the same.

"I stopped by for the last time. I'm going back to Paris in three days."

"Oh," I muttered, feeling my heart sink down to my toes.

I knew he would be leaving soon, but why did I feel disappointed finding out that it would be this soon?

"Is it okay if I come in?" he asked.

I nodded and walked him in. I glanced at the other diaries piled on the floor, and I quickly picked them up and shoved them inside the box. I carried it back to the bedroom and hid it in its safe place—under the bed.

I went back to the living room and slammed the door behind me. Meanwhile, Nick was already on the couch, eyeing the trash bags on the floor.

"So, you've been stress cleaning?" he asked.

"I wouldn't say stress cleaning...just cleaning."

He smiled.

"You know what? I'm just going to bring this trash to the kitchen. I'll be right back," I explained before grabbing two trash bags from the floor.

I hurriedly brought it down to the kitchen and dropped it next to the trash bin. I opened the fridge and took two cans of soda. I was about to go back upstairs when I decided to grab a bag of chips from the countertop.

"I brought some chips and drinks," I said, stating the obvious.

Nick was still silently sitting on the couch.

"Thanks. Although I won't stay for long. I just wanted to see you before I leave."

I nodded.

Be cool, Macey. Don't say anything dumb, and don't cry.

"Have you seen Bryce?"

"We'll be having drinks tonight."

"Oh, that's good to know."

I grabbed a can of soda and opened it just to break the awkwardness that was starting to ensue between us. I took a sip and waited for him to say something.

"Whatever you're going through, I know you'll get through it."

I put down the can on my lap and nodded at him. "Thanks."

"You can still call me."

I smiled, glad to know that he was still willing to talk to me.

Maybe, things wouldn't be so different.

"I know you're quite busy today, and I don't want to get in the way of your stress cleaning, so I better go."

I didn't want him to go. I remembered Sabrina's squeals and questions from yesterday. Maybe I could ask him about us, to stall him. But I couldn't bring myself to utter the question.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Nick's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me and waited for me to say something in return.

I faked a smile and sarcastically, I said, "Yeah, I wouldn't get anything done as long as you're here."

He grinned. "I know you're going to be fine."

We both stood up from the couch and I walked him to the door. "Have a safe flight."

"Thanks."

He stood outside the door and looked at me tentatively.

This was it. This would be the last time I would see him this year. Probably even for the next couple of years.

He pulled his hands from his hoodie's pocket and opened his arms in front of me. I stepped forward and went in for a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you, Mace."

I took a deep breath before responding, "I'll miss you too."