Unofficial First Girlfriend

CHAPTER 27

"Why can't you come over here?" Mama asked from the other line.

"Because... I don't want to," I replied.

I don't want to talk to you in person.

"You never tell me anything about you and Clark ever since you moved out of the house."

I sighed.

I stopped telling her about what was going on when Clark and I moved out because I wanted to make decisions for myself. I didn't want her or any of my family to dictate on me. If they knew what was going on, I would get an earful from them, that's for sure.

"I'm telling you now," I said instead.

"Okay," she answered, and I could hear the exasperation in her voice. "You still don't know for sure that he's cheating."

"Again," I added.

"He's cheating again," she repeated. "And whatever you'll do, always think of Naiah's sake."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, so my daughter will grow up in a complete and happy family."

"I'm not convinced."

"I don't have to convince you, Mama."

I walked over to the window and pulled the heavy curtain aside to take a peek outside. The street was busy with the usual afternoon crowd running errands, buying groceries and stuff.

But here I was alone at home, about to get lectured by my mom over the phone.

My life was starting to fall apart. The diner was close because I couldn't possibly manage it with my current situation. Nick was returning to Paris, and Clark still hadn't come home.

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I could go on enumerating everything that was wrong with my life. The list was endless.

"You're a grown-up, Mace. I know you will do what's right."

But I don't think what's right for her is what's right for me.

"Thanks, Mama," I mumbled before hanging up.

***

I handed Sabrina a can of soda before taking a seat on the table. I watched her as she carefully opened the can to avoid spilling it.

"Thanks for coming over," I whispered.

"What's bothering you?"

"I talked to Mama. She told me she knows I will do what's right. For all I know, we have a different definition of right."

"Naiah?"

I nodded. "Naiah."

"You can't just make a decision unless you know everything—the truth. You really have to talk to Clark."

"What if he's cheating? What if my gut is right?"

She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. "Then, you'll do what you think is right."

"Everyone thinks I should've married him so he wouldn't cheat on me. That is really stupid logic. With or without marriage, he can choose not to cheat."

"I hear you."

"I'm just... I'm just thinking about Naiah. I want her to grow up with a happy family. I want her to have both her parents beside her. What do you think will happen to her when..." I trailed off, scared even to just say the words out loud. "I just want to be a good mother to her."

"You already are," Sabrina assured me. "If you didn't have a daughter, would you still stay with Clark now?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Naiah is the only reason why you stay together. And isn't that a problem already?"

"But, Sab, you're not a mother," I replied too quickly, and she tore her eyes away from me.

She played with her can of soda, twirling it on the table, before looking back at me. "I know I'm not. But do you think Naiah would grow up in a happy family if her parents constantly fight? How do you think she would feel when in the future, she found out that Clark is cheating on you?"

I gave her a small smile. She was definitely on to something.

"All I'm saying is, maybe, having both parents live in the same house with their kid doesn't always guarantee a happy family. Separated parents don't always mean unhappy children. If you and Clark ever split up, it doesn't mean he can't be a father to Naiah anymore. This is just my opinion, okay? Like what you've said. I'm not a mom. You, of all people, know what's best for Naiah."

"Let's say, that happens...then people will think of me as, you know. They would be talking about me because I'm that girl who got pregnant and never got married."

"Since when did you care about what people think?"

I chuckled. "You're right. I don't care about what others think of me. They can talk shit about me for days, I don't give a damn."

"People always have something to say about a person's life anyway."

I nodded and reached for my can of soda on the table. There were tiny droplets of water on the can and I traced the one from the top and it slid down the can.

"Thanks, Sab. It was nice talking to you. I've been so stressed out and there's nothing left for me to clean around the house."

"No problem."

"How are you still single?" I asked. "You say the right words. You're good at the advice. You should try giving yourself some advice."

"I don't listen to advice," she joked and changed the topic by asking, "Did Nick already stop by?"

"Oh, yeah. Yesterday. Have you seen him?"

"Mm-hmm. Stopped by at our house on his way to Bryce's."

"He's leaving again," I mumbled. "And soon."

Sabrina nodded and pursed her lips. We fell into a comfortable silence, and I let reality sink into my mind.

"He stopped by here first. I guess he wanted you to be the first to know."

I smiled. "That or he didn't want me to be the last person he sees before he leaves."

"Maybe he thinks it's sadder if you're the last person he says goodbye to."