Pregnant

Chapter 18

The next couple of weeks have been quiet. August has not been pleased with me being at his house, but I know he appreciates my help. I know how hard it could be to love someone who does not love you back, so I give him space. I also deleted every hoe number from his phone. Well, any number that I did not recognize. He was not happy, but he did not undo what I did. He hates to ask for help from me because he feels like he should be helping me and not the other way around. I love that sometimes he has to depend on me; it means I get to show him how much I have grown.

"Ash, mom, is here with Avalon," August called out.

My mother had been watching Avalon for a while, although she brings her to me on the weekends. Primarily for August's sake, but I'm glad she is there too. Today my mother has an appointment to go to, and she also thought I would love to see her face. I know August loves to see her, and he enjoys her presence as well. Hopefully, she can cheer him up more than I have been able to. I walked out of the room and down the stairs; my mother held Avalon in the doorway. August was holding the car seat and the diaper bag; he looked happier already.

"Mommy's baby." I cooed as I walked up to her. I scooped her up and showered her with many kisses. "I missed you so much," I told her.

"And I've missed you," a deep voice said.

I turned and let out a little gasp. Odell was standing in the hallway; tears started falling down my face. I should be angry, but all I could feel was sadness, I missed him so much, and I did not want to hide it. I quickly walked over to him, and he pulled us into a deep embrace. He smelled so good, and he felt so warm. It wasn't until Avalon started squirming in my arms that he pulled back, but he still had a hold of me.

He smiled down at her, "I've missed you, little one." She just looked up at him with wide eyes, curiously. "Can I hold her"?

Without hesitation, I handed her to him. She watched me as I handed her off, but she did not cry. After she was nestled into his arms comfortably, she looked up at him and watched him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone moving closer. I turned and found my mom headed towards us.

She pulled me into a hug. "I have to go. Call me later." I knew she wanted all the gossip about what Odell and I would talk about. I nodded and hugged her back. She let go and then kissed Avalon on the forehead. She gave Odell a look, then turned and walked out of the house.

"I'll be in my room," August said.

"Can you take Avalon?" I asked, never looking away from Odell? He looked confused, but he met my gaze. I wanted to spend time with him. August walked over to us, and he took Avalon. Just as he made his way to his room, the doorbell rang.

"I got it" I walked to the door and opened it. Standing there was someone I told to leave my brother and me alone.

"Gabby," August called out. Shit, I did not want him to see her. I glared at her and folded my arms.

"I know what you said, Ash, but I couldn't stay away. Your, my sister, and I need you." She then turned and looked at August. "And I love him so damn much, he is all I can think of. I-I am so sorry, August. I made a huge mistake by letting you go, and if you have me, both of you, I'd love to be a part of your lives again".

Well, shit, when she put it that way, how can I say no. I wanted to hug her and tell her I forgave her, but instead, I turned and looked at August. He was looking down at Avalon, who was staring right back at him. August finally looked up with tears in his eyes; my heart was breaking for him. I knew it wasn't an easy decision. I walked over to him and held my hands out for my baby.

"Don't answer right away. Why don't you all go to your room and talk." I gave him a half-smile. He looked at me and smiled; he knew what I was trying to do. "Listen to your heart."

"I could say the same to you too," he pointed out. I looked back at Odell, who was watching everything unfold.

I looked back at August, "I will." I took a step back, and August held out his hand for Gabby. She slowly walked in and then took his hand, but she was looking at me. I gave her a half-smile, then I turned and walked over to the door, closing it. Odell walked back up to me and held out his hands. I smiled and handed Avalon back to him.

"She looks just like you. So beautiful," Odell said. I smiled and looked up at him. After a few seconds, he met my gaze; his eyes looked so sad and lost. Without knowing it, I reached for his face and cupped his face with my hand.

"How have you been?" I asked? I slowly started to bring my hand away from his face; I almost had my hand at my side when Odell reached out and grabbed onto it.

"Sad. Alone. Guilty. Depressed as fuck. Shitty," he stated. I looked down; I felt it was my fault even though I knew all I did was protect my heart.

"I'm-" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"You have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I am so sorry, Ash. I was a complete ass, and I will understand if you want nothing to do with me. I ask that I still be a part of Avalon's and your life, even if we are just friends. You make me a better person," he explained.

I honestly did not know what to say. I wanted him to be in my life, but at the same time, I love him so much. If he is in my life, I'm afraid I may let my guard down and let him have access to my heart, and I could get hurt again.

I say, " You can be in our lives, Odell." That was all I could say. A smile slowly started to appear on his lips, his eyes boring into mine. "But you can not be in my heart," I finished. As quickly as his smile appeared, it vanished. He looked sad, but he nodded, lips pressed together.

With his hand in mine, I led him to the extra bedroom downstairs. It had a nursery attached to it, and that is where I sleep when Avalon and I are at August's house. Avalon was sleeping, Odell placed her in the bassinet, and we retired to the bedroom. I stripped down to my underwear, Odell watching me so intensely. I blushed under his gaze; I quickly got under the blankets. I heard Odell give a low chuckle at my actions. He stripped down to his boxers, and then he climbed into the bed beside me. I wanted to touch him, kiss him and fuck him, but the memories of him with other women give me the strength to not touch him. I turned my back to him and closed my eyes; a few seconds passed, and then his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. I let out a breath that I did not know I held. I felt safe and warm, which scared me.