Pregnant

Chapter 20

The past few weeks have been a little crazy. Trying to plan August and Gabbys wedding, raise my daughter, and work. I will say that my mother has been a tremendous help, even though she keeps reminding me that she wish it had been me getting married first. I rolled my eyes at the thought of me getting married. Marriage was not for me. 

"So are you dating anyone," Gabby asked me? 

We were all at my mother's house, celebrating my father's birthday. I mean; August, Gabby, Odell, Avalon, and myself by everyone. My parents invited a few select friends, and my parents entertained their guests. August and Odell were somewhere else, Gabby and I were gossiping in the kitchen. 

"Uh, not really. I've been on a couple of dates, but nothing serious. Once they figure out who I am, they become start struck. It is quite annoying, actually," I told Gabby. 

"Well, there are other football stars since you have a thing for football players," she joked, smiling at me. 

"Yeah, maybe" I looked down at Avalon, who was playing with her blocks. She was growing so fast. She already rolled over and can sit up on her own; next, she'll be crawling. 

"So what made you decide to settle down? Last I knew, you avoided being in a long-term relationship," I asked her curiously.

 "August is an amazing person. He loves me for me, flaws and all. I let him go once, and I regretted it. I wanted to go back to him that same day, but I felt dumb and guilty. Then you came and slapped some sense into me, but I was still hesitant. I ended up texting your mom, and she invited me over, we talked, and I knew that I needed to go beg him to take me back." she explained.

I looked at her, shocked; I had no idea that she had talked to my mother. I had no idea that she felt that way, but I understood that she loved him.

"When I came back, August was hesitant. We stayed in separate homes, met up in different places. We never traveled together. It was hard; I texted your mom often.." she trailed off, looking down at her hands. When she looked back up, she had tears in her eyes. I took hold of her hand and gave it a little squeeze, and she smiled at me. "She told me not to give up and that all my effort would pay off. So, I continued to pursue him. I could tell it annoyed him, but I need to show him that I made a mistake and I would do anything to earn him and his trust back."

"Wow," Was all I could say; I was speechless. I had no idea; then again, she did not talk to me about anything either.

"Hey, love," August called out, walking into the room. I watched as he walked up to Gabby, turned her, and kissed her with so much passion. I looked away, embarrassed and sad at the same time. In the process of casting my gaze somewhere else, I locked eyes with Odell. He was standing in the doorway, looking- no watching me. At that moment, I knew he saw my reaction to watching August and Gabby.

"Fuck it," I said, never breaking eye contact with Odell. He raised an eyebrow as he watched me. I got off the chair and started walking towards him, first with hesitation, then confidence. When he was sure I was walking to him, he stopped leaning on the doorway and stood straight up, watching me. I made my way over to him, and I touched his cheek at first; he got down on one knee, matching my height easily. Before I even knew what I was doing, I pulled him closer and kissed him. I was tired of holding back and not giving in to my feelings. At some point, he stood holding me around the waist, my legs wrapped around him automatically. We continued to kiss with so much passion, lust, and yearning. My back hit the wall and pulled him closer, feeling his bulge against me.

"Ahem.." someone cleared their throat.

Odell reluctantly pulled away from me; both of us were breathing heavily. We turned our gaze to Gabby and August, but my mother stood with them. Their mouths were wide open, and they were shocked. Gabby snapped back first and a huge smile formed on her lips. I unwrapped my legs, and Odell sat me down gently, but he did not let me go.

"Do y'all need a  moment?" August asked, with a smile plastered on his face. My mother just looked concerned, but she did not say anything.

"Sorry" I looked down.

"I'm not sorry. I missed that so much," Odell chimed in. I looked up at him, I wanted him so bad, but before making another mistake, I ran out of the kitchen and down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms. I closed the door and then went to the walk-in closet and sat down and cried. I feel like a baby, but I do not want to get hurt again. Flashes of seeing him with those girls fill my head all the time, the cheating rumors on the internet filled my head as well. How the hell was I supposed to trust him again?

***

"Odell, you need to understand where she is coming from. How hard this decision is for her," a voice said.

"I know. I know I fucked up, and that is why I am trying everything in my power to get Ashlyn's forgiveness," another voice. I opened my eyes; when did I fall asleep. I was not in the closet anymore, and I was in a bed. I took in my surroundings; I was still in my mother's house.

"Give her time. Unfortunately, she doesn't forgive as easily as I do," another voice chimed in. August, Odell, and my mother were having a conversation about me.

"You need to forgive yourself and work on bettering yourself first. Then, work on gaining her trust back. You can not get mad if she dates other men. She loves you, but she also knows her worth," my mother said. I was tired of laying her, so I moved a little bit. Their conversation went quiet. I turned over and slowly sat up; I had such a terrible headache. I looked around, and my mother and August were leaving the room; Odell came up beside me and just watched me.

"Hey," I smiled. He got on his knees and looked at me. I could see unshed tears. Then he put his head down on the bed, not wanting to look at me. Shit, I looked down, I was causing him to cry, and it made me feel bad.

"I...I'm sorry. I love you, and you deserve better. I need to disappear for a while, take time to get myself together," he explained.

"When I need you here for the wedding...please," I begged. I did not want to go to that alone, and I needed him.

"I'll be there for that. The season ends after their wedding, so after that". Odell still wouldn't look at me, and it broke my heart. I wanted to pull him closer and kiss me, but then that would mean I was giving in, and I do not know if I'm ready for that again.

"I'm going to go spend time with our daughter" he stood and held out his hand. I grabbed his hand without hesitation, and he led us back out to our daughter.

***

After the party, Odell drove us home. I was beyond tired; Odell carried Avalon to her room while I carried the diaper bag. I put the bag on the couch in the apartment, then went into my room and took my clothes off.

"She is out. I'll see you later" he stood in the doorway. 

I turned and looked at him, "Can you help me with this dress?" I turned back around as he made his way over to me. He touched me, and it sent a shiver down my body, and a small gasp escaped. He slowly unzipped my dress; I let it fall to the ground once Odell unzipped it. His hands trailed down my arms and my back; it felt amazing.

I turned and looked at him; his eyes met my gaze, then his lips crashed down onto mine. Our kiss held so much lust and passion, and his hands explored my body. He lifted me, and my legs wrapped around him automatically. There were so many reasons why I shouldn't allow him in, but at this point, my walls were broken, and I wanted him.

He laid me on the bed and leaned over me. "Do you want me to stop?" 

Fuck, now he chose to ask; I was horny and ready. He took his pants and boxers off, then removed my panties. He lowered himself so that he was at my opening. He watched as he slowly pushed his way inside of me. I clawed at his back; I forgot how big he was. 

He rested inside of me, "You okay?" I nodded, not too sure of my voice. He kissed me, and then he began to move in and out of me.

***

I woke in the middle of the night, and I heard breathing. I turned and looked; Odell was behind me, sound asleep. I kissed his hand. I regret nothing. I loved this man, he pulled me closer, and I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.