The Fallen Academy

33. The Calm

V

"If you are going to stay by my side, expect that there would loads of sufferings and misfortunes that might befall you in the future. You see many people had told me I had a twin brother, and his name is Bad Luck."

War sensei talking to me in this drunken conversation we had during one of our stargazing night spree as we camp in a farm outside the city. He had gotten his fourth can of beer we snatched from a nearby town, his face already red. I sat beside him grilling some rabbit meat while Sai played with the magenta crystal in his hands. War sensei had given him Nat's crystal fallen and he had been debating internally if he should let sensei implant it inside his body.

"V! Are you listening to me? Why don't you answer? Huh? You are being stubborn again." He always tends to forget how I am not able to speak, may he be drunk or not.

"Did you hear what I just said? I said I am bad luck! So don't go crying to me soon if you'd get messed up with my series of mishaps." A vivid memory of us drinking at Tay sensei's room came back to me. It felt like it was so long ago that seeing War acts like this again made it feel so nostalgic.

"Or you can just bail out. That's right. Leave before all this gets ahead of you." He made a dramatic action of scanning his whole body with his open palms. His eyes now unfocused and a bit red from the alcohol.

I hate being not able to speak when he is like this. I wanted to tell him so bad that I don't wanna go anywhere but his side. When will this stupid tongue locking fallen that his self from the future casted be lifted?

"They all said that they love me, that they cared for me, yet they all went scampering away the moment things around me get all messed up! They run for their lives! All of them left me!" His speech had become slurred and he was brandishing his hands madly in the air. I came closer to him and tried to hold his hands down. At least I have this one privilege. He is allowing me to touch him now. The privilege  I could never have once he knew who I really am.

"My parents... my bestfriend... my grandpa...that..that.." He choke on his saliva as he struggled to mouth the last person. The last person that is no other than... "...that fucking prick Yin!" He swore loud enough that Sai even made a snorting noise.

"I fucking loved that guy! I gave him my trust and...and.." He hiccuped when the words got caught in his throat again. "...and I blidendly gave everything of me to him. Because I was so fucking in love with that bastard! Do you understand me V? God damn it say anything if you do! Don't just stare at me like that!" His hand came down to swat me hard on my right clavicle, doing it repeatedly like a kid on tantrums. It hurts a little but I can never complain. It even made me feel more valid.

He stops when he had enough. His hand that had balled into a fist rested just above my collarbone.

"But then maybe you're an exemption. I mean it's not like you can verbally say promises to me anyway." He laughs without humor as his half closed eyelids sweeps up to look at me. "I hope that my curse would be ineffective to your silent promise then." He said more seriously as his hand wind up to ruffle my hair. He made it all messier than it already was but I let him because he did this with a silly smile on his cute face. Is this how a dog feel when being petted by their beloved human? I bet this is very similar to what a dog would feel. Have they been wishing that they could talk back to their humans as well, that they can tell them how much they love them back?

Well I can do nothing about that now. I can only stare back at those sleepy eyes of his and made a silent promise that I hope and pray he would be able to read. A silent promise made by this more sensible self of mine. A silent promise that tells him I will stay by his side as long as I exist in this same timeline. How I wish I could take over the young and naive me in this timezone. He is wasting so much time being young and stupid not being at this person's side when he needed him the most.