This Rose Bleeds

Chapter ~Twenty-Two~

.:~* NATHAN *~:.

I can't stop yawning.

I finish my shift at The Rose and then head directly to school. Working has been my world for these past few days.

My arms were sore, and there were obvious circles under my eyes. Everyday there was only enough time for, at most, two hours of sleep. But I do get to rest on the bus from the shop to the bar.

Every night I feel like crying. Like breaking down and doing my best to rid myself from this world. But then I would realize I had a shift in an hour, and decided to ...deal with it.

Deal with it Nathan. That's what you did before. That's your only choice now.

I need to make the payday in one week.

I sighed as my head ached with exhaustion. Not to mention, I skipped school today and yesterday to put in extra hours cleaning the bar. Robin protested heavily, but I won out in the end. I was only going to school later today to collect the tons of work I've missed and hopefully be able to do them on the bus.

My thoughts were stashed away when the clink of the bell above the front door reached through the empty café. I readied a large smile and told them "Good morning, my shift is ending but another host is coming in–"

"Haven't seen you with a smile for this whole week, Nate."

...Marcus?

I controlled my feelings and kept a believable, snotty grin on my face. This guy...is too dang persistent. All week he's tried to get a hold of me, whereas even Ryder has finally laid off and been avoiding me.

"I know you're faking it though."

"I'm going." I left him standing there and went to the back, changing quickly and slipping quietly out the back.

Obviously, I wasn't as stealthy as I thought. "Where were you for the past two days? You're not sick are you? You haven't been in school. God, I've been worrying. You have no idea what Ryder is thinking right now. What's going on?"

My heart jumped steadily in my chest.

I knew this was for the best. I knew I brought everything upon myself. I knew this was all my fault. But to know that Marcus, the guy that used to beat me up, the guy that I knew now to be quite nice, was now the only one that still believed I was a good person...it hurt. Ryder hates me. Ryder...Ryder...Ryder...Why do you have to be on my mind when I need to focus on being horrible? When I need to focus on work! Why did it have to be you who I pushed away?

"Nathan, stop."

I halted my stride. I just noticed how heavily I was breathing, and how quick my pace had increased.

Marcus caught up and grabbed my shoulders, leaning down to level our eyes.

"Don't you get it?"

Huh?

"I don't believe you."

Silence.

"And I know you aren't going to tell me anything. But I will help you. And I will fix whatever's going on."

With that, and a final second of intense stare, he broke away and strode past toward the school.

Why?

~~~~~

I didn't see Ryder all day. Now that I think about it, I didn't see Marcus either. It was a sort of painful relief. Now I was walking into the bar ready to prepare for my night shift. This afternoon was torture, which consisted of Kristy giving me the stare throughout my shift. Right when I was about to ask if there was something on my face, a sad look crossed her face and she turned away.