This Rose Bleeds

Chapter ~Thirty-Two~

.:~* RYDER *~:.

Damn it. Damn everything.

The doctors said "if" he woke up. If.

Why did it come to this? Why only now was Mr. Steven being sent to prison, and being forced to stay there for the rest of his life?

What did Nathan do to deserve this?

I wiped a tear that fell from his face as he slept and held his hand, leaning down till my head touched the bed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I felt the tears fall. One by one. "I'm sorry."

I hadn't left his side for the two days since he got out of the ER. Suddenly his head rolled to the side and I glanced up. His face was twisted in pain and his eyes squeezed shut even though he was sleeping. It looked like he was having a nightmare. My heart shuttered and I closed my eyes, making more tears of mine fall onto his palm where I kissed. "It's okay." I whispered. "You're safe. It's okay, everything is okay."

I felt another sob bubble in my throat. It hurt.

His finger twitched and I shot up. All I saw were half opened blue eyes. And I went absolutely still. His eyes were so clear. So vibrant compared to his skin.

He woke up. He woke up! My heart beat wildly as we stared at each other for a full minute. The beating of the monitor increased ever so slightly.

He parted his dry lips. I prepared to hear him tell me to go away, or...or something about the last week. I was ready to answer any questions, reassure him I would never leave him. But in a small, tired whisper, all he said was, "I don't like hospitals."

And I lost it.

"I'm sorry." I cried as tears fell from my eyes, "This whole time, I just– I– I'm sorry." I touched my forehead on his hand, wishing he could just read my mind and understand everything I was sorry for.

I felt him tug his hand away and slowly my heart broke– until he raised it slightly and wiped the tears on my cheek. "This is the first time I've seen you cry...I don't like it." He paused and frowned. "Did you and Marcus finish the project for Math?"

...what?

For some reason in that moment, I realized everything was going to be okay. I don't know why, but that was the moment. I mean, heck! He was thinking about school! But a second later, as he continued saying random stuff, I realized his hands were shaking and he was trying desperately not to cry and lose himself in front of me. He was trying not to face what happened, but everything was coming back to him. And he just didn't want to cry in front of me.

"Nathan." I said quietly. He stopped whispering to himself and looked at me, half afraid. "It's okay." His lips parted and I looked him in the eye, saying, "You don't have to pretend."

After a quiet moment his lip trembled and he squeezed his eyes. He brought his other arm and draped it across his face as he clenched his jaw and tried to keep himself from sobbing. But I saw the first few tears fall down his face and onto his pillow.

"Is it over?" He asked in a voice that shook so much I'm surprised he was able to speak at all.

"Yeah...yeah. It's over." I smiled slightly. "You're safe. It's all over. Kristy shot him and–"

"She what?!" He lifted his arm and looked at me in shock. Oh yeah, I wasn't supposed to tell him that part.

"Marcus got pulled over for his driving on the way to the house. So I ran the last part by myself. He was supposed to get the police, but instead Kristy got both the ambulance and police, and when they got there, I don't know where she got it from but she grabbed one of their stun guns and subdued him long enough for the police to reach us. She shot him right when he...yeah."