This Rose Bleeds

Chapter ~Twenty-Seven~

 .:~* RYDER *~:.

I checked my watch. Obviously Jonah and Marcus were taking their sweet time meeting me. I tossed my bag onto my back and decided to wait one more minute. I needed to talk to Marcus about the project for Math. We got nothing done so far. Plus, the last time we met, it was Nathan getting the work together. I'm pretty sure...he doesn't give a shit about the project anymore. I told Marcus we should just do it ourselves. He agreed, but said only because he didn't want to force us together in the same room.

Gee, how considerate.

I was about to enter the building, tired of waiting for my friends, when this pretty nice car rolled into the parking lot. I got a strange feeling in my stomach and followed it with my eyes.

The people that came out made me sick. I forced myself to breathe in and out, and not march over there and pick a fight.

Mattson kept his eyes trained on Nathan as they got out. Nathan continued walking, and didn't seem to see me.

They came to school together.

Nathan and Mattson.

This should probably be nothing, right? It is nothing. Mattson was just a bother to him before, right? There's no way Nathan would be with him. Then again, the other night...what's there to doubt anymore? Just because I wanted to believe him? Just because my gut told me one thing, I was supposed to ignore my eyes and ears?

I clenched my jaw. If he was lying, I had Marcus watching his back, since I was apparently so disgusting and unreliable. If he was telling the truth, he's probably playing his game on Mattons now. I felt my blood boil.

Before he could see me I entered the building and grabbed the nearest girl, who I recalled was one of those that would vie for my attention. A month ago she would have seemed pretty attractive, but now she seemed dull.

"Hey." I said, as if I were "surprised" to see her.

"Hey Ryder." She said, completely turning her back to her friends.

"I heard you broke up with your boyfriend. Must suck."

"Yeah, well, we had other interests. It may have hurt for a while." She gave a cat-like smile. I placed a hand on her shoulder for comfort, and she took advantage of the que. I wasn't like this. But I knew how to do it. She knew what I was aiming for, and probably didn't care if I actually liked her or not; she just wanted the glory.

And what can I say? She was attractive enough not to make me puke.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the front doors open, and a skinny, black haired boy walk in. His gaze was cast at the floor, like an outcast. He wouldn't have seen me if it weren't for the squealing girls to my side.

"Let me make you feel better." I said. I dipped my head down, and closed the distance between our lips.

She responded instantly, and ran her hand up my arms, I cupped her face with my hands. To the world, it would have seemed like a great kiss.

But if felt so, incredibly, wrong.

She was rushing. She was too rough. Her face didn't fit in my hand, her lips were soft but it didn't feel right. She wasn't delicate. She wasn't Nathan.

But I deepened the kiss anyway. She was a good kisser. I opened my eyes ever so slightly and lazily glanced to my right.

He dropped his books. His eyes met mine instantly. He stared.

And I almost tore away from the girl.

It was like watching him die right in front of me. I felt a monster of guilt claw at my chest as I met his eyes. He looked past broken as he stared at me. His body quivered as if he was going to break down– cry and run up to me.

Those dark blue eyes looked at me with pain and tears ready to fall out. Wasn't this the reaction I wanted? I wanted to get him back.

No, I wanted him back. This wasn't the way to do it. I went too far. Holy shit...what am I doing...I shouldn't have done this.

I saw Mattson put a hand on his shoulder and shake him, trying to pull him away. I saw him moving his lips. I mentally slapped myself and glared. If he was mad he would run up to me, slap me, explode with how he really feels. But now I'm just confused, and getting more ticked off by the second. Stop having second thoughts Ryder.

I let my hand slide down her side and she giggled.

Nathan dropped his eyes, and I could no longer see it behind his hair. He ripped away from Mattson and tore down the hall.

At last the girl pulled away. "Thanks, I feel much better." She smiled.

"Huh?" I continued to stare at the place Nathan was standing a second ago.

"Catch you later Ryder." Her friends pulled her away in fits of giggles. A hand bent down to pick up the books I was staring at. I met Mattsons eyes.

I felt myself jump.

Holy crap. He looked like he was ready to murder me. He stared me down with the most hatred I have ever been looked at with.

He walked away and left me, once again, stunned. Why did he look like he wanted to murder me way more than Nathan did? Nathan didn't even look mad! He just looked.... Mattson's face on the other hand, that must've been what I looked like when I caught them together.

I get it. So now he already has Mattson.

I told my legs to start working as I walked in a sort of trance down the hall. I only looked up when I heard a loud commotion. All I saw was a crowd of people laughing and pointing. One of the lockers was open and in a huge mess. Someone must have rigged it, somehow. I never got how you did that. A ton of soda exploded and the victim just stood there facing his locker, soaked.

Then I saw Jonah. Geeze, so this is where he was. Thanks for telling me you got here early–

He grabbed the person by his shoulder and socked him in his stomach. My eyes widened as the person fell against the lockers and slid to the ground. He didn't even raise his arms to defend himself as Jonah kicked his jaw, his sides, his legs. People in the crowd either laughed to fit in or just looked on and rolled their eyes.

Jonah stepped back and laughed.

Nathan just sat there, breathing shallowly, and stared straight ahead with empty eyes.

Jonah shouted to the crowd, "Shows over, move on with your more interesting lives." Everyone listened and began dispersing. I stayed there, because I knew Jonah wasn't finished. He knelt and grabbed Nathan by the chin forcibly.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Strauss." He chuckled. "What's wrong? Can't even protect yourself anymore?"

He cuffed the back of his head and he fell to the side. I didn't realize I was shoving Jonah back, but it happened without much thought. Nathan looked up and met my eyes for the second time this morning.

"Come on man, what the fuck? I told you right? I told you he's been going around like a fag and sucking people off for money. Hah. And you thought you two were friends. Serves you right, fag." Jonahs ugly face smiled back at me, but with hard eyes. "Right Ryder? You said you're done with this piece of shit, right? Prove it."

Nathtans eyes turned away first. In the end, it doesn't matter what the truth is. He hurt me, and I hurt him, and he doesn't want me to protect him. Even if he makes me angry, I don't hate him, but to him, I'm his biggest problem. I turned away and tore myself from his helpless figure.

"Only fags bother with each other, Jonah. So just leave him the fuck alone already or you'll be one too."