{ HE } boyxboy

XIV

NIKITA.P.O.V.

I grab his arm again and pull him into my room. I turned on the light and put William on the bed.

ME: "I will give you some of my clothes. You can shower if you want."

He nodded and stood up. He looked like a zombie. I knew he wasn't well and I couldn't help him. There was no more William who was positive even when everything around him was falling apart. Now the real face that was hiding inside appeared. .A face that suffers.

I prepared him clothes and a towel and waited for him to finish.

WILIAM.P.O.V.

As soon as I entered the bathroom, I took out of my pocket the paper I had found at my mother's hand. There was a short text on it.

"William, I loved you, even if it didn't look like that. The only reason I had hope of waking up when I fell asleep was you. I put up with everything because of you. But I was overwhelmed. I want this. Let me go. I'll take care of you from heaven better than from earth. It's easier that way. For both of you. Now you're free. Don't blame yourself. Don't be sad. Don't cry. You've experienced a lot already. Laugh. That's my only wish and only then I will rest in peace. I love you. "

I hugged the paper on my chest and started crying. I love you too, mom. I'm sorry it ended like this. I'll do my best to listen to you.

I took a shower so Nikita wouldn't hear me cry. I should have tried harder to help you.

No. No. I can't think like that. She's free right now. Nothing hurts her anymore. She doesn't feel anything. She doesn't feel pain. I have to listen to her. I can't suffer. She wouldn't want to see me do the same thing like she in recent years. To suffer. I have to gather myself and take care of myself. I don't have a house anymore. I need a new place. I can't stay here forever.

...

After I calm down and finally gather myself, I put my mother's words and her wish in my head. I shouldn't suffer. She's gone, but now she's free.

I came out of the bathroom and saw Nikita. He seemed to be waiting for me, but he fell asleep. His head was leaning against the wall and he was sleeping. He was holding some clothes and a towel in his hands. I guess it's for me. I took it and put it on and dried my hair with a towel.

He looks so cute right now. I wonder, maybe he feels like me too? Is there a chance that Nikita isn't straight? I mean, he brought me to his apartment. I just don't know...But I know that I'm in love with him.

I shook his shoulder to wake him and he got up the same second. Well, that was easy.

NIKITA: "Oh sorry, I fell asleep."

ME: "No, it's okay. I just woke you up so you wouldn't sleep like that."

NIKITA: "Thank...Oh, my clothes looks so good on you"

He smiled and checked me out. I feel my face turn completely red. Fuck.

ME: "It's big hahaha."

NIKITA: "Not at all, it suits you perfectly."

ME: "I will have to buy new clothes. Everything is destroyed."

NIKITA: "I will help you with that. You should sleep right now, or even try to sleep."

ME: "I will try..."

NIKITA: "Come here."

He lay down and made room for me to lie down next to him. That's what I did.

I lay down so that even our shoulders didn't touch. I was afraid to even touch him. He knows I'm gay.

I turned my back to him and tightened the pillow under my head.

I don't even know how I felt. I can't describe that feeling. It's neither bad nor good. I'm aware that my mother got rid of all the pain, but the feeling of regret and guilt still gripped me, like shackles on my wrists. "I'll be better": I said to myself. I know I will. She would want that from me. Maybe she's happy now.

At that moment, I felt pressure on my waist. Oh my God ... I think Nikita just hugged me. It took me a few moments to recover. As I tried to look at the situation and decide which step to take, I felt his chest cling to my back. Well, this definitely can't be a coincidence.

I turned to him slowly and even through the darkness, I managed to see the glow of his bright eyes. His gaze did not take off from me.

I slowly raised my hand and hugged him. His back was warm. Then his fist ended up in my hair. He started stroking my hair. I smiled at what just happened, and then he does the same. Fuck, that smile.

ME: "I really like your smile, you know?"

He started laughing

NIKITA: "That was so random"

ME: "I don't care"

NIKITA: "Come here."

He pulled me towards him and clung to me. I hugged him tightly around the waist and rested my head on his chest. I think i fricking love him.

I know that I don't know him that long, but even the thought of continuing life without him sounds too strange and sad. I want to never let him go.

...