Over Again (Niall Horan Fanfiction)

A fucking mess

James Arthur - Train Wreck, Adele - Easy On Me, Chord Overstreet - Hold On, Tate Mcrae - Feel Like S***

I can feel slight pain in my arm, it feels stuck, dead. My eyes open and the first thing that comes to my sight is the sun rising behind the huge building that is senable through my window. I guess they moved me into another room as soon as Gigi got enough blood. I look over, scanning the room. Only private rooms contain dark green sofas in the corner, a nice coffee table in front of it as magazines sit nicely spread on it. The plant next to the sofa makes this room look alive even if I'm looking dead right now.

I turn on my side, looking out of the window. I feel as if I've been running for weeks as if I haven't slept even for a second. Maybe, the only thing that I needed was sleep. I kept thinking every day what could I have done differently for every little thing that occurred. I was so focused on redoing it all, focused on fixing something that was never meant to be fixed.

I believe that all of this happened for a reason. It might sound cliche but who am I to redo something? This is not a test that gets to be redone. Life is not some task that God or whoever you believe gave us. Our task was to do our best, to learn from it and move on!

Lying right here in this hospital once again, only made me realise, that no matter how hard you try, you will still end up fucked up! So take it as it is, suck it up and endure it! One way or another, everything has to end somehow. The good or bad outcome, it still ended right?

After getting my shit together, I make my way out of the room. I wander around, trying to recall Gigi's room but thankfully, after I while, I succeed!

Zayn, he's asleep on the couch next to Gigi. I find myself smiling at them knowing how much they wanted this, all of it. Gigi seems better, her face isn't pale anymore and even if she's sleeping, she looks like she's smiling!

Walking down the hallway, I came across a clock that said 06:13 am. It does look like it! Everything is quiet, dark. Only the sound of those machines makes my body shiver after every beep.

*As I put the mask on my face, a couple of machines start beeping and nurses start running to her bed. I can't hear anyone around me, but the sound of the machine gets louder and louder every second. I can feel my breathing getting heavier as a sharp pain overcomes my whole chest! I find myself without a breath as I just stand there, waiting. I've been waiting for the past 21 days not being sure of what exactly I was expecting. In my head I knew what could happen, but every time I came here my heart gave me hope. As if it told me, stay here, with her, you need each other, and so I did.

'She just needed her medications changed, she's okay.' The nurse tells me but I can barely hear her. I can still hear the machine beeping in my head even though it was over.*

I close my eyes, trying to forget everything, trying to push back those fucking memories, fucking thoughts but I can't help it. I want to scream, break some shit, pull my hair out, I want to get everything out, I want to end all of this. I know that Jenny knows everything now, but I still can't get over those 21 days.

Without realising it, I came back to my room in an instant.

'The fu-!?' My heart skipped a beat as Jennys siluet stands right above my bed, searching for something. 'Christ, Jenny! When did you come here?' I ask her as I walk to the sofa and just sit my ass down before I collapse once again.

The phone on my bedside table lights up as soon as a loud ring spreads through the room. I slowly push myself up, only to find Harry's manager calling me. Shit!

'Eleanor? Thank God!' He says as soon as I answered the call. 'I know we set everything clear, but you are coming, right?'

I know that hearing this makes me upset, but somehow I find myself perfectly calm. What has happened to me? Did the loss of blood make me emotionproof?