Lusting for you-completed

Chapter 63

My lips moved hungrily beneath his even before his words begun to make sense to me.  But then it did. Wrenching our merged lips apart, I panted out at him,"A contract marriage?  For an original child?"

I stared up at him incredulously.  Astonished that he could be so callous to the existence of his own child. I thought of Brian and felt a pang of remorse for the yet unborn child of Lucian.  A child who would no doubt be as beautiful as him.

"How could you leave Vanessa and your unborn child? She's your wife and the baby is yours...," I trailed off speechlessly. This was not the Lucian I knew and loved. This was a ruthless imposter. One so closely resembling his own diabolical father that I was sure he hadn't a clue.

I gripped his face in my hands and drew him close till our eyes met. Staring into the deep pools of his soul I saw lust for me, intense anger at no doubt his own father and then something else. Something shimmering in its depths that he was hard pressed to ignore. That he was deliberately trying to desparately surpress.

Regret.

Regret for his loss over his unborn child. A child he was willing to give up for me.

There was the Lucian I knew.  One that lurked in the shadows unwilling to show himself.  Compassion to Lucian was a weakness as was love and all other emotions that turn a person to mush.

I understood his point of view.  In his line of work emotions were a veritable death trap. Luring you into pitfalls you wouldn't otherwise rationally make.  Just like the one he was about to plunge into now.

Denying his rights to his own child would kill him. Kill him slowly from inside out. It was not a way I would have chosen for him. It was not a way he would have rationally chosen for himself.

"You will love your child. When he or she us born,  you will love the babe as your blood. You cannot turn your back on the infant. I won't let you, " I said simply staring deeply into his darkening eyes.

The pain in its depths were evident and his suffering unbearable to me. But I blinked away my own tears and focused on him.

"You don't understand...," he said in a trailing whisper that was almost wobbly. His voice husky, heavily charged with his rising emotions.

"I cannot do this anymore.  I cannot be without you."